The May Update (With a Minor Rant)

 Another May of Madness is almost over, and we survived another school year. It wasn't as bad this year, certainly not compared to last year! (Not having a major surgery during the month makes a huge difference, as well as only having two kids left in school.) Even still, I am relieved to have a two month break from the school grind. It's strange to remember back to how excited I was when M started kindergarten. I loved everything about school, I volunteered at least once a week, and I was as excited about what she was learning as she was.

Oh, for the good old days.

Wow, I sound maudlin. It's not really that I'm longing for those days, so much as I miss my optimism about it all. I guess I had higher hopes for what my kids would get out of school, especially when I was so involved. Now that we're on the other side of it, for three of them at least, I'm a little jaded. Eh. I'm a little jaded about a lot of things on this side of life. It's not a strength, but I'm not sure how to recapture the enthusiasm and optimism I used to have either. I don't think I made the wrong decisions about the schools the kids have attended. I took it seriously--I toured schools, read books about homeschooling, visited homeschooling families, talked to a ton of moms who already had kids in school, and then prayed for guidance about what to do. Given that I'm human and not supermom, I don't have regrets about the path we took. I just hoped the kids would come through it with more of a love of learning. And a better ability to write coherently with correct grammar, but apparently grammar isn't necessary anymore? I guess they can depend on AI for that. Instead, they have done an inordinate amount of art projects, especially in history. Since when did history become about art? Don't misunderstand, I think creative projects are fantastic for engaging the brain. But not at the expensive of learning, you know, actual history. Oh, excuse me. "Social Studies." Perhaps that's the problem. It's not really history? (Though K took World History this year and despite acing every actual test, got a B because of the art projects. I'm not disputing the grades on the art, he really didn't put in much effort, but again...why so many art projects? Especially in high school?)

Anyway. Enough of that. We have two months where I don't have school driving or homework haranguing. Hooray for summer!!

You know what I'm not jaded about? My marriage. Can I just say that being on this end of life with both Terence and I having learned a heck of a lot of relationship skills is wonderful? Perhaps we just have more time since the kids are older, but we've also improved so much in communication and really trying to put each other first. I struggled a lot with resentment when the kids were younger-- I felt so alone-- but I also sucked terribly at communicating anything I needed to Terence. And I was so defensive any time Terence brought issues up, I could go from sunny to a raging thunderstorm in an instant. Not helpful for a relationship. I loved him before, I always loved him, but it's different now. We are each other's safe space and partner to a degree we never were before. Hey, there's something to be optimistic about!

Oh, I've got another area of optimism. My writing. The next book in the Silver Vision (Raoulin Tower) releases June 1st. I've been reading the books to S and it is a joy to share them with her. (Do you know what an ego boost it is to make a 13-year-old laugh out loud while reading a chapter you wrote? It's an amazing feeling!) Anyway, the next book up for pre-order isn't technically part of the series. It's a prequel novella about Sheralie's parents that will release July 1st. That's mostly so I can actually have a break during the month of June!

I'll try to do more of an update on the entire family next month. Once I've had time to breathe a bit. Welcome, summer, with all your blistering hot, glorious free time!

Easter 2025, I'm only a little behind