I Can't Blame Lack of Sleep for This

Motherhood is killing my brain cells. Either that or it's my advancing age. OK, OK, I'm not that old. (Though I turn 35 this year, which just seems impossible. That makes me the same age as my mother!) Still, something is making me go senile. That's the only explanation I can come up with for my increasingly thoughtless behavior or inability to remember important stuff.

Back in my office job days, I spent quite a bit of time as a Project Coordinator. I was responsible for keeping track of somewhere between 60-70 construction projects, making sure that deadlines were met and being the persistent prodding annoyance to our designers to get their jobs done. I was darn good at it, if I do say so myself. I designed an Access database to track everything, but mostly I didn't need to consult it much. I was able to keep track of where most of the projects stood in my head. (To the everlasting irritation of those designers who weren't doing their job because I did not forget about them and was constantly asking them for work they hadn't finished.) So I know at one point I had the ability to remember lots of things and keep it all straight.

But now, I can't even keep my kids' homework straight, let alone remembering massive detailed lists. Every day I forget something, and if I'm lucky, it's something minor. (Like forgetting my swimsuit when I go to the gym to get in my swim.) This week it has been one thing after another. Not one of the three kids in school has made it to school with everything they needed, every day. I've had to make multiple trips to Walmart, only to get home and realize that I forgot something I really needed again. (That's even with a list, mind you.) Sunday I opened the back door of the van to search for something and forgot to shut it. Then I proceeded to cavalierly shut the garage door and head back into the house without a thought. It was only when we were trying to leave for church that I realized that I had shut the garage door onto the van door and the two were now stuck together. Oops.

This all culminated in one of those really brain dead moments that is still plaguing me. On one of my trips to Walmart I loaded the bags into the back of the van, went to shut the van door, and forgot to move out of the way. Umm, yeah. I nearly knocked myself out with the door. I have a large bruised lump on my forehead. It's been two days now and I still have a headache. Way to go, Heidi!

If I can't have my brain cells back, shouldn't I at least have an instinctual sense of self-preservation? What is wrong with this picture????