A Little Lost

 I haven't written all summer.

All summer, you say? It's only July.

Well, I mean summer break from school. Which, in our neck of the woods, is over now. Not only did I miss June's blog update, I also haven't written a single word of fiction, which is not common for me. But it's been a rough period of time. One of my best friends went into the hospital last May for what we hoped would be a minor stay (not that anything about her health is ever minor). And then, things just...got worse. Currently, she is receiving palliative care and we are waiting for her to graduate from mortal life (as she and I used to put it, back when we could talk about such things).

It's hard to grieve the loss of someone who is still here. But that is what's happening. I still get to visit her in the hospital, but I miss our constant back-and-forth by messages throughout the day, I miss sharing all the ups-and-downs of our various adventures in life. I miss all our chats about stories and art and kids. Besides Terence, she was the number one fan of my books. Several times a day I think oh, I need to share that with Makena! And then I remember that she won't get the message. When I'm in the hospital nowadays, she is usually not lucid, if she's awake at all. 

It's a lonely feeling. (Even though I know it's a billion times worse for her immediate family.)

Of course, life goes on outside of this. I had a wonderful, quick vacation to California with my family. We bought a new van, which definitely was a big happy change. K and S went back to school, K for his senior year and S for her freshman one. J and Terence celebrated birthdays. Heck, the country celebrated a 250 year birthday! These are all memorable things, and they've been happy things.

And since Makena would want me to focus on the happy things, I do. As she has reminded me over and over, everything is going to be OK.

So happy middle of the summer and beginning of a new era in my life. Hopefully I will get back to writing soon. And enjoy every minute with your loved ones!