Holding
I'm stuck.
Well, perhaps not stuck. How can I be stuck when I'm on a treadmill that is going at a 6.5 mph pace? I can handle a pace that fast-- barely-- but it takes all my focus and I can't sustain that speed forever. At this point my legs are starting to tremble and I know that if I'm not careful my feet are going to go flying out from under me and I'm going to painfully crash to the ground.
It's April. The weather is beautiful here in the desert-- I hiked on Friday night with some of the kids and there are colorful blooms everywhere. It should feel like rebirth, especially with Easter next Sunday.
It mostly just feels like stress and separation.
I knew April was going to be hard. It often is. It is the month of testing and last quarter school projects. It is a month of birthdays and events. It is the month of General Conference (and often Easter) both of which take some prep on my part because of family traditions. It is a month of work training for Terence, which plays havoc with our schedules. It's just that I'm only halfway through the month and I am burning out.
I don't think I'm the only one.
My kids are stressed. Terence admitted to having anxiety Friday that kept him up almost all night. And I know I have friends and family members with various challenges that are pulling them down. None of this is unusual, really-- yet in some ways, it does feel like something has gone awry.
Last night my dad told me that in his stake, eight of the nine missionaries that have recently gone out have come home early because they couldn't cope with anxiety. They discussed in ward council how to help the teenagers prepare to handle the stress of a mission. It's not just the missionaries. My kids literally don't want to grow up. They are too afraid they can't handle it. My niece (and plenty of other young adults I know) have been the same.
Back in the day I was scared but excited to grow up. Excited to leave home.
What is causing this?
The only major difference (after some discussion between my parents and I last night) seems to be the technology. The smartphones we carry around. My mom suggested diet might be having an effect. But I know people eating far, far healthier than we did in the 70's, and they don't seem to be any less stressed.
Is it just because we are bombarded by worst case scenarios of everything all the time? As well as the best case scenarios? Certainly as a kid I had media-- TV shows and magazines, plenty to tell me how I should look and what I should be doing and how many evil kidnappers waiting to snatch kids were all around me. But I wasn't constantly IMMERSED in it. My kids, much as we try to shelter them from it, are constantly surrounded by it. I'm constantly surrounded by it.
And along with the normal stress of life, it is wearing me out emotionally.
But how to fix this? How to help my kids so they can go forward into the future better able to cope? It is not practical to disconnect my home from the internet and toss all our cell phones in the garbage.
I don't have any answers. So I'm just holding on. Hoping for light to come.
Well, perhaps not stuck. How can I be stuck when I'm on a treadmill that is going at a 6.5 mph pace? I can handle a pace that fast-- barely-- but it takes all my focus and I can't sustain that speed forever. At this point my legs are starting to tremble and I know that if I'm not careful my feet are going to go flying out from under me and I'm going to painfully crash to the ground.
It's April. The weather is beautiful here in the desert-- I hiked on Friday night with some of the kids and there are colorful blooms everywhere. It should feel like rebirth, especially with Easter next Sunday.
It mostly just feels like stress and separation.
I knew April was going to be hard. It often is. It is the month of testing and last quarter school projects. It is a month of birthdays and events. It is the month of General Conference (and often Easter) both of which take some prep on my part because of family traditions. It is a month of work training for Terence, which plays havoc with our schedules. It's just that I'm only halfway through the month and I am burning out.
I don't think I'm the only one.
My kids are stressed. Terence admitted to having anxiety Friday that kept him up almost all night. And I know I have friends and family members with various challenges that are pulling them down. None of this is unusual, really-- yet in some ways, it does feel like something has gone awry.
Last night my dad told me that in his stake, eight of the nine missionaries that have recently gone out have come home early because they couldn't cope with anxiety. They discussed in ward council how to help the teenagers prepare to handle the stress of a mission. It's not just the missionaries. My kids literally don't want to grow up. They are too afraid they can't handle it. My niece (and plenty of other young adults I know) have been the same.
Back in the day I was scared but excited to grow up. Excited to leave home.
What is causing this?
The only major difference (after some discussion between my parents and I last night) seems to be the technology. The smartphones we carry around. My mom suggested diet might be having an effect. But I know people eating far, far healthier than we did in the 70's, and they don't seem to be any less stressed.
Is it just because we are bombarded by worst case scenarios of everything all the time? As well as the best case scenarios? Certainly as a kid I had media-- TV shows and magazines, plenty to tell me how I should look and what I should be doing and how many evil kidnappers waiting to snatch kids were all around me. But I wasn't constantly IMMERSED in it. My kids, much as we try to shelter them from it, are constantly surrounded by it. I'm constantly surrounded by it.
And along with the normal stress of life, it is wearing me out emotionally.
But how to fix this? How to help my kids so they can go forward into the future better able to cope? It is not practical to disconnect my home from the internet and toss all our cell phones in the garbage.
I don't have any answers. So I'm just holding on. Hoping for light to come.
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