Launch Time

Terence and I just returned from taking M up to college.  Talk about a bittersweet experience!  I'm so excited for her-- I know just how much she is going to grow over the next few months-- but on the other hand, we had to leave her there, two states away from us.  Yeah, I know, I've been saying for ages just how eager I am to get her to launch.  But it's different when you actually drive away and leave your baby girl on her own.  Especially when your baby girl basically throws herself at you and sobs and hold you tighter than she's done in years.

Surprisingly, I have done better with it than Terence.  Possibly because I left home to go to college and Terence never did-- I know that although M is super homesick, she will survive it, and she will forge some amazing memories to make up for missing us.  Terence has broken down multiple times over the last couple of days, but he is a tender-hearted guy after all.  He is so homesick for her already.

Luckily, these days we have smartphones and zoom.  While I was still on the drive home, I got my first batch of messages-- M needed help figuring out the washer and dryer in her apartment.  Today I got a request for a copy of my chocolate chip cookie recipe and snapped a quick picture, and she had it within a few seconds.  Then this afternoon we had a family zoom meeting, where all her siblings got to ask all the important questions (from K: "Have you met any boys yet????").  It was great fun, and hopefully this will be enough to stem the homesickness a bit until she flies home for Thanksgiving.

It's the start of a new stage around here, and I need to get into some new routines.  I'm still struggling-- 2020 continues to bring me down-- but we are at least back in school in person here (even if the rules are weird and pointless).  It's still a mind-boggling schedule.  J has three separate schedules, B is on another one, and K & S have another one (luckily they are still at the same school).  When we left with M, my mom stayed with the other kids and I typed up six pages of notes to help.  The good thing is that all the school driving actually helps with my depression.  It forces me to stick to a schedule and gets me out of the house at the same time (and luckily, I do not have to wear a mask in the car).

Speaking of the mask thing, how is that going?  I am doing much better.  I still hate them.  I still find it hard to breathe.  I still feel uncomfortable looking at masked faces.  But I have found that I am able to bear them much better. For those of you familiar with the Book of Mormon, think of the story where Alma and his people were taken captive and prayed for relief.  They weren't freed right away, but they found themselves able to bear their burdens with ease.  That's what it has been like for me.  I haven't had a panic attack in awhile now.  It gets hard still, and occasionally I just have to stop and pull it down and breathe.  And sometimes (like when I had to climb four flights of stairs carrying stuff for M's apartment) the stupid mask causes dizzy spells, headaches, and my blood pressure to skyrocket.  But still, I've been able to cope.  And eventually this captivity has to end, right?  RIGHT?????

Hang in there, everyone.  2020 can't last forever.  And for those of you in the trenches with your young babies (or headstrong toddlers, eek!!) cuddle them tightly.  One day you will be sending them out on their own and wondering where on earth the time went!