A Girl and a Dog

 Once upon a time there was a girl who loved animals in general, but she especially loved dogs.  She gave her heart to a black lab named Spice when she was growing up, but her "heartless" parents wouldn't agree with stuff like Spice sleeping in her bed and going on vacations with the family.  Spice died when she was in college, and this girl determined that as soon as she had her own family and her own place, she would get another dog and this dog would be a fully participating member of the family (just like in the movies!)

Fast forward a few years, and the girl-- now a woman and a mother-- was finally living in a place where she could fulfill that promise to herself.  A cute little puppy named Peanut was given to the family, and the woman was ecstatic to have an adorable new member of the family.

However, reality set it, and it was much different than the movies.  Puppies chew things.  They destroy things.  They shed fur all over everything.  Housetraining, and obedience training in general, was not easy.  And this overwhelmed young mother had her hands full with a 2 year old and a 1 year old, and so she had to adjust to a new way of pet ownership.

Maybe her parents weren't so heartless after all.  Peanut became an outside only dog, and she thrived.  Obedience training went by the wayside, but the dog was still loyal and protective of her family.  Surprisingly (for her family had had no idea what breed she was) she grew into a giant, who managed to intimidate people who merely glanced her way.  (And if she barked. . . watch out!)

Peanut and M, before Peanut hit her full growth

A year and a half later, when "young overwhelmed mother" had morphed into "seriously stressed out, postpartum depressed, crazy woman with three kids age four and under," her husband rescued a tiny little puppy who became Peanut's sister and best friend and partner in chewing holes in every hose that graced the yard.  Willow was much smaller than Peanut, and Peanut ruled the roost, but Willow was a live wire.  Peanut had to keep control of Willow, and again, there was no attempt at obedience training.  Crazy woman was in tears daily over trying to potty train her four year old.  She had no time to worry about wild dog behavior.

Soon the brave sister dogs had to face a new challenge-- a move to the desert.  They were still outdoor dogs, only visiting the air conditioned halls of Elysium on the hottest days of the year.  Crazy woman had gotten her postpartum depression under control and began the transition into the golden age of Zoloft and weight loss transformation, becoming merely a harried mother of four.  She took up jogging and took Peanut as a jogging partner.  She was a far better companion than a can of pepper spray, and she was likely to pull harried mom down the street with all her strength (not a bad thing when you're not sure you can keep running).  Harried mom tried valiantly to let go of her guilt for being a less than perfect pet owner, and took consolation in that her "working dogs" were well fed and taken care of, even if they weren't treated like her children.  (In fact, she would look at people strangely when they would refer to her as Peanut and Willow's mom.  She was a mother, but she did NOT number the dogs in the same category as her kids.)  Peanut and Willow didn't care.  They enjoyed each other's company and patiently bore with the kids dumping mud on them and trying to grab their tails. Peanut was in her prime, and she took her job of protecting the family seriously.

Peanut in 2007

Then a sneaky little bug called valley fever struck Peanut and changed everything.  Despite months of medicine to treat it, she never quite fully recovered.  Her nervous system had undergone a severe attack.  Her jogging days were over.  But she was still willing to keep Willow in line, be patient with the kids, and protect her domain.  She and Willow even managed one last "fling" one night-- escaping from the yard and running amok all night long.  Harried mom got a phone call the next morning from some neighbors who had found them; both dogs had to be carried into the house because they were so tired.  (Fortunately, the neighbors were strong men who could manage Peanut, because even though harried mom had been working out, there was no chance she could lift all 90 pounds of Peanut.)

The years passed on and baby number five arrived and grew.  Peanut was just as patient with this little munchkin as she had been with the others.  But it was getting harder and harder to get around, and the summer heat was just a killer.  Finally, Peanut developed a massive tumor growth on her chest, and the vet gave harried mom and her husband both good and bad news.  The good news-- the tumor was only made up of fat cells gone crazy.  It was not cancerous.  The bad news-- Peanut had an enlarged heart, severe arthritis, and a stomach full of rocks.  Apparently instead of eating her food, Peanut had been snacking on the landscaping, which the vet said was never a good sign.  He told the family that Peanut would probably not live through the summer, and surgery for her tumor was not possible because of her heart.

Well, Peanut surprised everyone by lasting for several more months.  Peanut took matters into her own hands (teeth, rather) and chewed the infected fat tumor off.  Oddly enough, the wound healed just fine.  But as the weather got hotter, things just got harder.  Harried mom tried to bring in Peanut and Willow on heat advisory days like normal, but Peanut's legs would give out under her and she would end up splayed on the floor, unable to get up.  Even at night when it cooled down she would pant so hard that it hurt just to watch her try to breathe.

In the end, harried mom's husband made the decision that she couldn't.  It was time.

Peanut, 2015, age 11

We took Peanut into the humane society to have her put to sleep on Wednesday.  I thought I was the one who didn't care so much, who knew that Peanut wouldn't be in pain anymore, who didn't consider her dogs the same as her kids.  But I couldn't stay with her to the end, and I cried in the car for the next 45 minutes.  Dogs do manage to worm their way into our hearts.

We'll miss you, Peanut.  (Willow misses you the most!)  Thank you for being such a loyal member of our family all these years.