Sandpaper Sisters
Well, I've managed to find a second wind. (Or is this a third wind? Maybe a twelfth wind?) This week has been interesting because instead of simplifying my life, I decided to take on a new challenge. I accepted a job editing a weekly newsletter for my father's company. It's been strange officially rejoining the workforce (albeit in a very limited, still-at-home sort of way). I had to fill out reams of paperwork, some by hand and some on line. I had to travel into the office to present my I-9 documents (you know, prove that I'm legal to work in the US), and I even had to take a drug test. (I haven't done one of those in a long time!) But I'm official, and I clocked in officially today (which since this is 2016 instead of 2003, I did by logging in online, as opposed to noting my time down on a worksheet). Today was just training, and I'm pretty sure I'll pick this up quickly (next week I'll do all the editing with Megan watching over me electronically). It's a Friday morning thing, which means that I'll have to juggle my exercise schedule a bit, but judging by this morning it should be doable. ( Granted, I have my first quarterly all-employee meeting next week-- which I get to attend remotely, thank goodness-- but it's on a Thursday. Seriously. My busiest day of the week. That should be fun. At least it's not a Roundtable or PPI Thursday. Though I do have J's IEP review that day. . . .)
Anyway, moving on.
You know, one of the lessons I felt like I learned in Sanders was that when it came to women at church who rubbed me the wrong way, if I just got to know them better, gave the relationship time, eventually I would see things from their points of view enough to appreciate them and maybe even become friends. Anytime I've run into a difficult (female) relationship since then, I've tried to keep that in mind, and I've patiently waited for time to allow me to overcome any irritation.
Unfortunately, I'm currently mired in one of those situations right now with two different women, and much as I desperately wish I could get past my irritation, almost every encounter I have with either leads to me feeling more resentful. Then since I'm the ruminating kind of gal, I go over and over and over it in my head (or out loud) which leads to feeling even more riled up, not less. In one case, I've pretty much cooled it down by getting myself removed from any direct contact (a contributing factor to my facebook sabbatical) and hoping that with time I'll get over my petty annoyance and we'll be able to start over. In the other case, I can't cut her out of my life, even though I wish I could, and the whole situation is complicated for reasons I won't go into right here.
I've read a lot recently about how to forgive and how to work with people you don't like particularly, and honestly, nothing really helps. I don't think confronting her would do any good at all (and would probably make things a million times worse) and in any case, I'm not so naive to think I can fix another person's peccadilloes. All I can control is myself, and my own reactions. Except that I can't seem to really control my reaction to her.
How do you ignore someone who drives you nuts when there is no way for you to avoid her? Ideally, I'd like to not react abrasively in the first place. But how do I DO that?
Well, I have no choice but to be patient with the situation. Maybe that's why the Lord allowed me to be stuck in it. Because I wouldn't learn any other way :) Hopefully, I'll look back on it in a year or so and wonder what the big deal was!
Anyway, moving on.
You know, one of the lessons I felt like I learned in Sanders was that when it came to women at church who rubbed me the wrong way, if I just got to know them better, gave the relationship time, eventually I would see things from their points of view enough to appreciate them and maybe even become friends. Anytime I've run into a difficult (female) relationship since then, I've tried to keep that in mind, and I've patiently waited for time to allow me to overcome any irritation.
Unfortunately, I'm currently mired in one of those situations right now with two different women, and much as I desperately wish I could get past my irritation, almost every encounter I have with either leads to me feeling more resentful. Then since I'm the ruminating kind of gal, I go over and over and over it in my head (or out loud) which leads to feeling even more riled up, not less. In one case, I've pretty much cooled it down by getting myself removed from any direct contact (a contributing factor to my facebook sabbatical) and hoping that with time I'll get over my petty annoyance and we'll be able to start over. In the other case, I can't cut her out of my life, even though I wish I could, and the whole situation is complicated for reasons I won't go into right here.
I've read a lot recently about how to forgive and how to work with people you don't like particularly, and honestly, nothing really helps. I don't think confronting her would do any good at all (and would probably make things a million times worse) and in any case, I'm not so naive to think I can fix another person's peccadilloes. All I can control is myself, and my own reactions. Except that I can't seem to really control my reaction to her.
How do you ignore someone who drives you nuts when there is no way for you to avoid her? Ideally, I'd like to not react abrasively in the first place. But how do I DO that?
Well, I have no choice but to be patient with the situation. Maybe that's why the Lord allowed me to be stuck in it. Because I wouldn't learn any other way :) Hopefully, I'll look back on it in a year or so and wonder what the big deal was!
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