Adventures in Raising a Teenage Girl
I was a teenage girl once. I know, hard to believe, considering it has now been 20 years (yikes!!!) since I graduated from college. Anyway, having been a teenage girl (and sometimes it really does feel like yesterday) I figured I would have some idea of what I was in for.
I remember my own craziness. My own personal drama and ups and downs and steep learning curves. I've read a lot of parenting books and articles and blog posts. I've listened to talk after talk and lesson after lesson involving parenting at church.
And yet I am still hopelessly out of my depth. M completely baffles me at times. There are a couple of things about that I can more or less understand (though it doesn't make it easier to cope with)-- the mouthy attitude that crops up and the extreme shyness are the easiest, because I've been there myself. I don't like it, but I get it.
Other things, though I can't relate to it at all, I'm kinda thanking my lucky stars for: she has zero interest in boys, clothes, makeup, dances, or any social life of any kind, I think we have much less drama around here because we don't have to fight about boyfriends or what she's wearing to school or because she's broken curfew again. But at the same time, I wonder if she ever will get interested in this stuff and if not, will she spend the rest of her life alone? Or even worse, living like a hermit in my house? (EEEK!)
At the moment I am teaching her how to drive, and this has been another curveball. I had no idea what to expect, other than my vague memories of when I learned to drive. But of course that was no help at all-- I started practicing steering the car from my mother's lap while still a tween and by 13 years old had driven a car independently. Once I got my learner's permit it was all about learning to drive stick and working my way up to the big leagues of CA traffic (and I do remember a lot of frustration and tears with that). But M is doing this against her will-- I have to schedule practice sessions 3 times a week like it is a chore. She hates it. And I just about die of anxiety. (Oh my gosh, how hard can it be to steer with power steering? Apparently M is finding it difficult.) A twenty minute session at one time is about all both of us can handle. (But hey, I have only freaked out once-- when she ran straight through a stop sign at a blind intersection with me shouting "Stop! Stop NOW!!!!") Luckily half our neighborhood is nothing but empty lots so we do a lot of driving around in circles on streets that have nothing for her to run into.
Her obsessions are another thing I find utterly foreign, and I'm not sure what (if anything) should be done about them. There is no other word for it-- she gets obsessed with her video game fan culture stuff. Sometimes it takes the form of fan fiction. Sometimes it takes the direction of animating shorts using video game characters. Right now all she wants to talk about is Sonic the Hedgehog and a plethora of characters I know nothing about. Yeah, I know, why worry about this? Teenage girls get obsessed. I should be thankful she's not papering her walls with Justin Bieber posters and blaring his music 24/7. I guess my only concern is that between her heavy homework load and her insistence on working on her fan projects, she gets so little sleep. Is it normal for a teenager to go to bed around midnight and get up before 5 every day? Even during the summer?
Don't get me wrong-- I'm very, very proud of my daughter. She is amazing, beautiful and brilliant (got her report card and she had straight A's again-- that was with four honors level classes). But like every parent I worry, I guess. Am I getting her prepared to launch? How can I keep our relationship from going nuts when it is the "time of the month" for both of us? How do I help her pursue her passion while still getting the rest she needs to be healthy?
Where's that owner's manual when I need it??????
I remember my own craziness. My own personal drama and ups and downs and steep learning curves. I've read a lot of parenting books and articles and blog posts. I've listened to talk after talk and lesson after lesson involving parenting at church.
And yet I am still hopelessly out of my depth. M completely baffles me at times. There are a couple of things about that I can more or less understand (though it doesn't make it easier to cope with)-- the mouthy attitude that crops up and the extreme shyness are the easiest, because I've been there myself. I don't like it, but I get it.
Other things, though I can't relate to it at all, I'm kinda thanking my lucky stars for: she has zero interest in boys, clothes, makeup, dances, or any social life of any kind, I think we have much less drama around here because we don't have to fight about boyfriends or what she's wearing to school or because she's broken curfew again. But at the same time, I wonder if she ever will get interested in this stuff and if not, will she spend the rest of her life alone? Or even worse, living like a hermit in my house? (EEEK!)
At the moment I am teaching her how to drive, and this has been another curveball. I had no idea what to expect, other than my vague memories of when I learned to drive. But of course that was no help at all-- I started practicing steering the car from my mother's lap while still a tween and by 13 years old had driven a car independently. Once I got my learner's permit it was all about learning to drive stick and working my way up to the big leagues of CA traffic (and I do remember a lot of frustration and tears with that). But M is doing this against her will-- I have to schedule practice sessions 3 times a week like it is a chore. She hates it. And I just about die of anxiety. (Oh my gosh, how hard can it be to steer with power steering? Apparently M is finding it difficult.) A twenty minute session at one time is about all both of us can handle. (But hey, I have only freaked out once-- when she ran straight through a stop sign at a blind intersection with me shouting "Stop! Stop NOW!!!!") Luckily half our neighborhood is nothing but empty lots so we do a lot of driving around in circles on streets that have nothing for her to run into.
Her obsessions are another thing I find utterly foreign, and I'm not sure what (if anything) should be done about them. There is no other word for it-- she gets obsessed with her video game fan culture stuff. Sometimes it takes the form of fan fiction. Sometimes it takes the direction of animating shorts using video game characters. Right now all she wants to talk about is Sonic the Hedgehog and a plethora of characters I know nothing about. Yeah, I know, why worry about this? Teenage girls get obsessed. I should be thankful she's not papering her walls with Justin Bieber posters and blaring his music 24/7. I guess my only concern is that between her heavy homework load and her insistence on working on her fan projects, she gets so little sleep. Is it normal for a teenager to go to bed around midnight and get up before 5 every day? Even during the summer?
Don't get me wrong-- I'm very, very proud of my daughter. She is amazing, beautiful and brilliant (got her report card and she had straight A's again-- that was with four honors level classes). But like every parent I worry, I guess. Am I getting her prepared to launch? How can I keep our relationship from going nuts when it is the "time of the month" for both of us? How do I help her pursue her passion while still getting the rest she needs to be healthy?
Where's that owner's manual when I need it??????
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