Self-Control and Sacrifice
The other day on PJMedia I read an article by Sarah Hoyt about the importance of sacrifice. She is making the general observation that our culture seems to be valuing sacrifice less and less-- that as our culture becomes more secular, sacrifice to achieve worthy goals is becoming more and more unpalatable. One of the first commenters took issue with her usage of the word "we" since he and apparently his whole circle still greatly value sacrifice. That kind of made me cock an eyebrow and think, "Really? Do you live in the same country I do?"
In some cases I think we still appreciate sacrifice. Looking at my own life, I live the "no pain, no gain" motto every time I go for a run. Running is not a joy. Running is a discomfort-filled exercise in serious endurance. But in so many other areas of my life, sacrifice is harder. I don't like going without chocolate or dessert, even though the sacrifice of my desires would definitely be in my best interest. I don't like sacrificing my sleep or time for others. I don't like sacrificing to tighten my belt so that we can live with an income that shrinks in its buying power every year. Still, I am a grown up now (I guess I can claim that, since I'm in my 40's) so often I do suck it up and make the sacrifices of my time. I'm not perfect-- my own selfish nature rears its head just in time to muddy my relationships more often than I like-- but in general I recognize that hard work and sacrifices are often required for any great blessings in my life.
However, I do see signs that our society in general is throwing that lesson out the window. It shows up in insidious little ways all over the place. From participation trophies given to everyone because we don't want any hurt feelings to high school diplomas granted to teens who barely show up to school and make no effort to learn anything while they are there to college students throwing hissy fits and practically rioting because they don't like what a guest speaker might say to people who are demanding that their every want (far beyond the basic necessities of life) should be provided for them, regardless of their efforts.
What is causing this craziness? I have various theories (and I do think it is a multitude of factors contributing) but here's the problem with living like we are entitled to perfect happiness and satisfaction at every minute of every day-- reality doesn't work like that. And even if we all woke up tomorrow in some kind of utopian society with every need and desire met, we would not be any happier. One, we would never learn to develop self-control, and it is becoming glaringly obvious to me that without self-control we cannot have happy relationships with other people. Our marriages, our parent/child relationships, our friendships, camaraderie between neighbors-- all depend strongly on people being willing to exercise self-control-- to put the needs and desires of someone else above your own when necessary. Second, humans have striving for growth wired into them. If we are not faced with challenges, we don't grow. We'd stay children forever.
This doesn't mean that everyone needs to be faced with tragedy 24/7 so they can "grow." But learning to exercise self-control, to sacrifice something now in the name of something much greater, to cope with tragedy when it does come, this is why we are here. I believe it is one of the main reasons we are here on Earth. As for myself, I intend to take a little better stock of myself and reevaluate what I can do to strengthen my own self-control and to make the sacrifices necessary to make my family's lives better (as well as the world around me) so I can grow to be the person I want to be.
Onward with the journey!
In some cases I think we still appreciate sacrifice. Looking at my own life, I live the "no pain, no gain" motto every time I go for a run. Running is not a joy. Running is a discomfort-filled exercise in serious endurance. But in so many other areas of my life, sacrifice is harder. I don't like going without chocolate or dessert, even though the sacrifice of my desires would definitely be in my best interest. I don't like sacrificing my sleep or time for others. I don't like sacrificing to tighten my belt so that we can live with an income that shrinks in its buying power every year. Still, I am a grown up now (I guess I can claim that, since I'm in my 40's) so often I do suck it up and make the sacrifices of my time. I'm not perfect-- my own selfish nature rears its head just in time to muddy my relationships more often than I like-- but in general I recognize that hard work and sacrifices are often required for any great blessings in my life.
However, I do see signs that our society in general is throwing that lesson out the window. It shows up in insidious little ways all over the place. From participation trophies given to everyone because we don't want any hurt feelings to high school diplomas granted to teens who barely show up to school and make no effort to learn anything while they are there to college students throwing hissy fits and practically rioting because they don't like what a guest speaker might say to people who are demanding that their every want (far beyond the basic necessities of life) should be provided for them, regardless of their efforts.
What is causing this craziness? I have various theories (and I do think it is a multitude of factors contributing) but here's the problem with living like we are entitled to perfect happiness and satisfaction at every minute of every day-- reality doesn't work like that. And even if we all woke up tomorrow in some kind of utopian society with every need and desire met, we would not be any happier. One, we would never learn to develop self-control, and it is becoming glaringly obvious to me that without self-control we cannot have happy relationships with other people. Our marriages, our parent/child relationships, our friendships, camaraderie between neighbors-- all depend strongly on people being willing to exercise self-control-- to put the needs and desires of someone else above your own when necessary. Second, humans have striving for growth wired into them. If we are not faced with challenges, we don't grow. We'd stay children forever.
This doesn't mean that everyone needs to be faced with tragedy 24/7 so they can "grow." But learning to exercise self-control, to sacrifice something now in the name of something much greater, to cope with tragedy when it does come, this is why we are here. I believe it is one of the main reasons we are here on Earth. As for myself, I intend to take a little better stock of myself and reevaluate what I can do to strengthen my own self-control and to make the sacrifices necessary to make my family's lives better (as well as the world around me) so I can grow to be the person I want to be.
Onward with the journey!
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