I am Enough

My mom is the best!

There.  That's my Mother's Day tribute to my mom.  Honestly, I feel kind of badly typing just that, but I have lauded my mom in the past and I intend to thank her again for all she did (and still does) for me in person, so I don't need to do so here.

I know you probably don't care.  

Come on now, be honest.  What do other people's tributes about their mothers mean to you?  Yeah, the accolades are nice, but unless you know the mom personally . . . it all starts to blur together.

And for a whole lot of other women Mother's Day is a minefield.  We all have our demons, right?  Apparently for a good number of women, the second Sunday in May is the worst day of the year.

It's not a minefield for me, and coming as it does during my second-most crazy month of the year, I normally enjoy the breather.  Usually because my dad makes sure to do something special for me, and the kids and Terence are pretty good about at least giving me cards and kisses.  I have an excuse to put off the dishes, too.  (Not that I don't do that on other days too, but I refuse to feel guilty for it on Mother's Day.)

The trouble this year is that Mother's Day is falling during my not-so-great emotional stretch of the month.  I've been battling internal criticism all week-- and losing.  It's been hard; I can't find the words to silence the voice in my head insisting I'm a lazy housekeeper, a pathetic writer, a terrible mom, and a selfish wife.

But last night I was scrolling a bit on Facebook (always a dangerous thing when I feel this way) and someone had posted one of the videos the church released for Mother's Day.  S was sitting with me and she wanted to watch it.  So I pulled her onto my lap, took a deep breath of courage, and watched the whole one minute video.

It was like a punch to the gut.  Why?  Because I've said  these phrases (or ones just like them) to my children so many times over the years.  But NEVER to myself.  Why not?  Am I not a child of God too?  Wouldn't my mother say these things to me?  (Answer: Yes!  She does, actually.)  So why don't I believe it?

Something to ponder for Mother's Day.  For me and perhaps for some of you.