Welcome, 2020!!

I was almost swallowed by the January morass, but I think I'm dragging myself out now.  I may be wet and slimy and covered with muck, but spring sunshine should help clear all that away!!

Seriously, I need more sunlight in my life.  Terence calls me his flower for a reason.  I know we get rain every winter, but this is the desert, for pete's sake.  I like it better when we get most of our year's moisture during the monsoon, instead of December and January.  Between the short days and the clouds and the rain, I have been dragging.

The good news is that I survived it.  The bad news is that I struggled to get anything more than the bare minimum done during the last three weeks.  Once upon a time I used to deal with the January blues by setting New Year resolutions and jumping into goals.  But this year?  I couldn't face the idea of resolutions.

Worse than the January depression was the anxiety.  I'm so tired of it.  It's not severe-- it doesn't impede me from "normal functioning," but it's constant and unrelenting. *sigh*

Anyway, now that I'm able to look forward to 2020 without having a panic attack, this is what I'm looking forward to this year:

• M's graduation from high school and leaving for college.  This is a BIG change.  Obviously.  She's already been accepted to her first choice school and starts September 14th.  Out of state.  In a place with winter.  Yikes!!!!!
• J getting a job.  We hope.  So that he can get a driver's license.  (We can swing M's insurance but not his.  But we definitely need another driver when she leaves!)
• B graduation from 8th grade and starting high school.  We're going to apply for open enrollment at the same high school M attends.  Fingers crossed she gets in!
• K getting in shape :)  His dad says this is the year when it's time to crack down.  Oh boy.
• S just generally being an upbeat whirlwind.  She is such a joy.  I thank my lucky stars almost every day we were blessed with surprise baby #5.  Heavenly Father definitely knew what we needed.
• Losing the weight that has crept back on during the last couple of years.  I'm trying to be really good.  So far so good.  (But I still have a ways to go.)
• Writing two books in my new fantasy series.
• Running my last half marathon distance race.  I should (knock on wood) earn my Phoenix star in just three weeks, which I have been working toward for five years.  But my knees are truly starting to give me problems, and since I already have more or less permanent achilles problems, it's time to let the long distances go.  I still want to be able to walk twenty years from now!
• Celebrating my 20 year anniversary with Terence.  Can you believe it??????  I can't.  I need to plan something.  Probably the normal running for ice cream after Walmart type of anniversary date is not good enough for a milestone like this.  

Well, 2020, I'm ready for you.  I think.  Maybe.  Let me just put my head between my knees and breathe deep for a moment.  Yeah, OK, we've got this!!!