Lessons Learned from Six Weeks (Mostly) at Home

One thing that is truly unusual about the coronavirus pandemic (I first wrote panic, which pretty much covers the same thing, to be honest!) is how so many people in the world are experiencing the same challenge at the same time.  Granted, it's affecting people differently, depending on their circumstances and where they live, but still, when you think about how many millions upon millions of people have been stuck in their homes for the last weeks I have lots of potential company for the topic of this post.  But if you bother to drop by this blog, perhaps you care to hear about my little sliver of experience, right?  Here goes, a list of things I've learned:

• Toilet paper is more valuable than gold.  Honestly, it is.  We cannot wipe our noses and posteriors with gold.  I never realized how grateful I should be for toilet paper.  Especially toilet paper I like.  I could not find out who manufactures Kirkland Signature toilet paper, but if I ever solve the mystery I will send them a personal thank you letter!
• My food storage supplies need to include sufficient amounts of comfort baking supplies like brown sugar.  Yes, I have plenty of wheat to grind if I need flour, but sugar???  I actually have sufficient white sugar, but I learned if I want to bake cookies regularly (and I will want to in times like these) I need a stockpile of brown sugar, because the store shelves went bare for weeks.  Apparently I am not the only stress cookie baker.
• Related to the point above-- dieting during a stay at home order is futile.  Give up and focus on not GAINING.  Honestly, if I am within five pounds of my pre-corona weight when my gym opens again, I will count that as a win.
• Also related to above-- too much cardio is just murder on the joints.  Spending two hours on my bike trainer in my living room in a desperate attempt to burn off those cookie calories and stave off the tidal wave of depression may feel necessary, but too much exercise with no rest days is bound to catch up to me sooner or later.
• I am not cut out to be a homeschool parent.  Not for all five at the same time.  I knew this already, which is why I chose to send them off to school.  But it's nice to know that I was right (I guess-- it's more of a bittersweet vindication).
• I HATE GROCERY SHOPPING. Well, I've never been a shopper.  Ever.  A trip to Target seems like a punishment, not something to rhapsodize about.  But it's a nightmare now, even if it gets me out of the house for some one on one time with Terence.
• Having five kids is the greatest blessing.  Yes, we feel quite crowded at times and we've had some epic fights between K & S.  But no one feels alone.  We are certainly NOT alone.
• A stay-at-home order means I see my husband even less.  Odd, but true.  Schools shut down means stupid kids racing their cars on the highway up to the lake every night instead of just the weekends.  Which means frequent late nights for Terence.  (Yes, another kid wrecked his car up there last night.  Again.)

And last, but definitely not least:

• Adversity does not bring out the best in me.  I am not heroic.  I am not filled with faith and confidence.  I am not filled with compassion and a sense of unity with my fellow human beings.  Wow, do I fall short of my own ideals.  Rather, the last two weeks especially have been an epic battle with depression.  More than once I fought my way through the schoolwork and my exercise, my minimum required stuff for the day, and then crawled onto my bed and disengaged for the rest of the day.  Fortunately, my kids are old enough to more or less fend for themselves, and the older ones pick up the slack with the younger ones.  Terence essentially ordered me out of the house a couple of times, and it helped.  (So for those of you viciously attacking people going out for being "selfish" consider that sometimes it is a matter of survival.  There are other serious threats to people's health than viruses.  Just saying.)

I'm feeling a little bit better today-- I'm finally on the other end of the hormonal cycle that makes my depression so much worse, so I have higher hopes for this week.  But for those of you struggling also, and finding that you are not quite as heroic as you wish, you are not alone!!  And we will get through this, somehow or another.  I don't know how much longer it will last, but at least I know we are six weeks closer to the end, whenever that will be.