Shhhh!!! Don't Tell Anyone, But I Have Favorites

Today in honor of avoiding the freaky dudes that may be extra inspired by Halloween, I did my bike workout at the gym. Since sitting on an exercise bike for nearly an hour is dead boring, I grabbed a magazine like always. But for some reason, the YMCA decided that they were going to clean out their magazine stack for the first time in years, so I was left with only a couple of options. I chose a Cookie magazine (which is a trendy parenting-geared one) and settled into my workout.

To my surprise, I found a realistic and interesting parenting article that actually made me think. The author is the mother of twin boys, and she confessed that she had a favorite child. Then she went on to detail study findings that report that the vast majority of parents actually have a favorite child, but it is so taboo among us Westerners to play favorites that parents will apparently only admit it in an anonymous study situation.

To heck with taboos!

I HAVE A FAVORITE CHILD.

There. I've confessed.

But before any of you start gasping with horror and wondering what is wrong with me, let me point out that my favorite child changes from week to week, from day to day, and sometimes even hour to hour. Each of the four gets his or her time in the spotlight of my affection. The article went on to explain that the best situation is to admit honestly to yourself when you have a favorite, and then do two things: 1- spend some more time with the other children and 2- HIDE that you have a favorite to the absolute best of your ability.

I bet for those of you with more than one child, if you really sit down and think about it, you probably already do this. Several times over my short career as a parent I have found it super easy to shower one child in particular with love and attention. (Usually it is the one who is not currently destroying the house.) As soon as I notice what I am doing, I automatically make an effort to spend a little more special time with one of the other kids. Granted, with four this takes some balancing, but in the end it all works out.

So if you ever find yourself looking down at one of your children and feeling guilty because you like this one the best, remind yourself that it is perfectly normal to feel that way. Then put on your best actress performance and turn to your other child and shower them with some attention. Just a little parenting advice from someone else in the trenches!