Swimming Shenanigans

Do you remember months ago how I thought I was going to drown swimming one time across the pool? OK, you probably don't, but the experience is forever engraved in my memory. Things are a lot different now; I can swim laps for about 30 minutes before I start to run out of steam. Still, I am a self-taught swimmer, and my form is probably horrifying to an expert. "So what?" I always thought. "At least I'm not drowning, so what does it matter if my fingers aren't together or I look like I'm floundering about?"

Unfortunately, one of those not-so-great things about my personality is that I can get kind of hung up on what other people think. Maybe you are self-confident enough or oblivious enough (lucky!) to not realize or care that other people may be judging everything you do, but I seem cursed to worry about that. (And trust me, it is a curse. If you have ever spent a 45 minute drive on a two lane road making yourself sick because you're worried the people behind you think you drive too slow, you'll know exactly what I mean.)

For my first couple of swim practices, I really worried about what other people thought about my swimming ability (or lack thereof). But over time I got past that, since it seemed no one else in the pool ever paid a lick of attention to me. Great! As long as no one is paying attention to me, nothing to worry about.

However, last month a guy I'd never seen before showed up to swim at the same time as me. I could tell he must be a real swimmer-- he pulled gadget after gadget out of his bag and laid them out next to his lane. (Or maybe he just had oodles of money to spend on swim toys?) For a moment I got a bit paranoid that he was going to share a lane with me, and possibly swim over me, but no worries. I ended up sharing with an older lady who was no faster than me, and certainly was no expert. So I swam my usual 800 yards or so, and stopped at the edge of the pool for a moment to catch my breath at the end. Mr. Gadget Man was standing in the lane next to me.

"You know," he began. "You're rotating too much when you swim."

?????!!!!!!

Um, excuse me, did I ask for any advice? He then proceeded (with a smile) to give me a list of all the things he thought I should correct in my swimming technique. I was astounded and mortified. Had the man been sitting there critiquing every move I made while I innocently thought he was paying attention to his own swim workout? Probably he thought he was being nice and helpful, sharing some tips with the obviously struggling novice. But I ended up paralyzed from fear, unable to swim another lap in the dread that someone might be staring at me the whole time and thinking, "My word, what a terrible swimmer!!! Someone help that girl out, she's embarrassing us all!"

Two days later when I came back for my next swim practice, I carefully scouted the pool before I got in. If Mr. Helpful was around, I planned to climb back out. Never mind that I had a triathlon to keep training for! Lucky for me, this guy seemed to disappear again.

Until this week.

Now he's back, and so far he's been back almost every day. Yikes!!!! However, the first day he was back he ended up spending all his time frustrated with an older man who took up the whole lane they were supposed to be sharing, so he didn't have time to look at me at all. Instead, he joined me in the jacuzzi afterwards and starting going on about the other guy and how he didn't get the idea of sharing. (He had a point, but really, all I cared about was that someone else had his attention instead of me.)

He should be happy to know, though, that he inspired me to get a video on improving your freestyle technique. All week I've been working on drills that are supposed to teach me how to swim faster with less effort, which is definitely not a bad thing. I guess your overly-concerned fellowman can help you make some improvements.

Still, I'd feel better if everyone looked the other way when I get in the pool!