Frantic, Frazzled, Fried and Exhausted

It's General Conference weekend! For those of you who aren't LDS, General Conference is kind of a big deal in the Mormon world. Twice a year (in October and April) we have a whole weekend full of meetings where we listen to special talks given by our prophet and apostles and other church leaders. They are broadcast by satellite to our church buildings, shown on certain TV stations, or you can watch it on the internet. Growing up, I loved conference weekend because it meant one thing: I wouldn't have to go to church on Sunday. My parents never made us watch it, and like many young children, the thought of having to sit through a grand total of eight hours of grown-ups talking about stuff I didn't understand was downright horror-inspiring.

Once I was in college, I started to undergo a whole attitude shift about conference. I began to realize just how wonderful an opportunity it really was. After all, if I had been living back in ancient biblical times, I would have jumped at the chance to listen to Moses speak, right? Well, if I believe that we have a living prophet today (and I do), why wouldn't I jump at the chance to listen to him also?

After my mission, I had a few blissful years where conference weekend was a special treat, a spiritual feast that left me rejuvenated and focused on the eternal picture, rather than mired down in the minutiae of day to day living. Unfortunately, I haven't really experienced that in a long time now. Why?

I had children.

Terence and I have been trying to instill a love of conference from the very beginning with our children, using all kinds of different things. I have conference activity packets for them to color, we've played bingo (where they get to mark off a square when a gospel-related word is said), put stickers on a chart for each speaker we hear, and sometimes I hand out treats each time they notice a certain word, like "faith." I cook a special, favorite breakfast that we only get to have conference weekend. All these things have done their job-- my kids were so excited for it to be conference that yesterday morning, they were all up by 7am and dressed. Every five minutes until the first session started they kept asking me, "Is it time for conference yet?"

All good, right?

But see, here's the deal: our only way to get conference at home is through the internet. So we end up with six people crammed in our little office around the computer. And excited though they may be, it is still hard for little kids to sit quietly for two hours. Sibling battles are frequent, squabbling over markers and crayons is inevitable, and I constantly have someone trying to crawl onto my lap (and someone else who thinks that isn't fair).

I feel like someone watching everyone else enjoy a bounteous feast while I wrestle with my children in the hallway. Every so often I can hurry to the table and grab just a bite, but then I have to sprint back to control my kids.

It's been extra complicated this weekend because I've been trying frantically to get ready for our upcoming vacation. I had no less than seven loads of laundry to finish yesterday, packing that had to be completed, a house than needed to be semi-cleaned, and a last minute trip to Target at 9:00pm to get stuff I had forgotten. So there has been anything but a spirit of peace in my heart.

At 11:30 I still had so many chores to do that I was beginning to despair. How would I get it all done so that I could not have to do so much work on the Sabbath? I really wanted to have everything all ready for the trip so that today I could just enjoy conference and focus on spiritual things. But Terence finally chased me off to bed. I was deliriously tired. (My day had started at 4 am, after all.) However, once in bed, I couldn't relax enough to fall asleep because I was stressing about all I needed to do.

Then I remembered President Uchtdorf's talk from the afternoon session. He talked about how important it is to slow down when we experience difficulties. Here I was, trying to solve my problems by working harder and faster. I made a decision to quit worrying about my list. I slipped right off to sleep, and this morning, when my alarm went off, I decided to take my time about getting up. I had time to study my scriptures and just peacefully enjoy the early morning.

Of course, my respite is just about over. The kids will be waking soon, and it will be time to get breakfast going before the morning session of conference begins. I know that once again, I'll probably only get to really glean a few crumbs from the spiritual table again, but hey, thank goodness for the archived video streams. I can always go back and watch it again later (like at 4 am, when the kids aren't awake yet).

Enjoy your Sunday, everyone!