Adulthood
Sometimes I think our culture has forgotten what adulthood truly is.
Maybe it's connected to the way that life has gotten easier and easier. (Don't believe me? You probably need to read a bit more about daily life for people even 100 years ago, let along a few centuries ago. Day to day survival, even for most "nobles," required quite a bit of work and a serious level of physical endurance.) Back then you couldn't really be an adult if you didn't learn how to work at least hard enough to survive-- there were pitifully few safety nets, so if you didn't take responsibility for yourself, you died. End of story.
Being an adult is taking responsibility. It is doing the hard work without immediate rewards. It is following through with commitments. It is making the hard decisions that have to be made. It is doing your duty even when it isn't fun. It isn't a quality you magically gain when you turn 18-- or 21, or 25, or egads! even 30. (Can you believe that I read an article recently that assumed that you don't really have to face adulthood until your 30's? I pity the parents, if that's the case.)
While I believe there have always been people who have refused personal responsibility even when perfectly capable of it, those numbers seem to be skyrocketing lately. I'm sure there are lots of reasons for this trend, and discussing the cause of perpetual teenage-hood isn't really the goal of this post. Rather, I've been looking at myself lately and gauging my own adulthood.
Do I take responsibility for myself?
Do I work hard, even without immediate rewards?
Do I follow through with my commitments?
Do I make the hard decisions, rather than waiting for someone else to do it? (Or circumstances to decide for me?)
Do I tackle my duty even when it is anything but a party?
I have some areas where I am still working to improve, but for the most part, I think I can answer yes. Parenthood has forced me to confront most of these things square in the face! So has my service in the church. It's been uncomfortable and soul stretching and often it is not fun, but I can see the dramatic growth from when I was a flighty 21 year old who had just graduated from college and thought she was now an adult, was certain she knew what it was all about.
I would never have made this journey without my parents. It was my parents who were my examples, who taught me about work, responsibility, commitment, and dependability. I'm sure they didn't think I was listening--or watching. Probably there were days when they wondered if I would I ever really "launch." I'm certain that they felt that they messed up (what parent doesn't?).
But thank you, Mom! Thank you, Dad! You set me on this path, you have helped but never coddled, and you've given me hope that I will continue to grow in my adulthood and be one of those people that our society depends on for success. Now to pass on those lessons to my children...hopefully one day I will be on the other side too, looking at 5 wonderful adults who have launched to the best of their abilities!
Maybe it's connected to the way that life has gotten easier and easier. (Don't believe me? You probably need to read a bit more about daily life for people even 100 years ago, let along a few centuries ago. Day to day survival, even for most "nobles," required quite a bit of work and a serious level of physical endurance.) Back then you couldn't really be an adult if you didn't learn how to work at least hard enough to survive-- there were pitifully few safety nets, so if you didn't take responsibility for yourself, you died. End of story.
Being an adult is taking responsibility. It is doing the hard work without immediate rewards. It is following through with commitments. It is making the hard decisions that have to be made. It is doing your duty even when it isn't fun. It isn't a quality you magically gain when you turn 18-- or 21, or 25, or egads! even 30. (Can you believe that I read an article recently that assumed that you don't really have to face adulthood until your 30's? I pity the parents, if that's the case.)
While I believe there have always been people who have refused personal responsibility even when perfectly capable of it, those numbers seem to be skyrocketing lately. I'm sure there are lots of reasons for this trend, and discussing the cause of perpetual teenage-hood isn't really the goal of this post. Rather, I've been looking at myself lately and gauging my own adulthood.
Do I take responsibility for myself?
Do I work hard, even without immediate rewards?
Do I follow through with my commitments?
Do I make the hard decisions, rather than waiting for someone else to do it? (Or circumstances to decide for me?)
Do I tackle my duty even when it is anything but a party?
I have some areas where I am still working to improve, but for the most part, I think I can answer yes. Parenthood has forced me to confront most of these things square in the face! So has my service in the church. It's been uncomfortable and soul stretching and often it is not fun, but I can see the dramatic growth from when I was a flighty 21 year old who had just graduated from college and thought she was now an adult, was certain she knew what it was all about.
I would never have made this journey without my parents. It was my parents who were my examples, who taught me about work, responsibility, commitment, and dependability. I'm sure they didn't think I was listening--or watching. Probably there were days when they wondered if I would I ever really "launch." I'm certain that they felt that they messed up (what parent doesn't?).
But thank you, Mom! Thank you, Dad! You set me on this path, you have helped but never coddled, and you've given me hope that I will continue to grow in my adulthood and be one of those people that our society depends on for success. Now to pass on those lessons to my children...hopefully one day I will be on the other side too, looking at 5 wonderful adults who have launched to the best of their abilities!
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