February Fears
February is upon us, and I'm feeling just the tiniest bit anxious.
OK, I'm lying about the "tiniest bit."
I had a full-blown heavy anxiety afternoon. It's good thing I don't check my blood pressure midday or there would have been angry orange lights for sure. I was trying to take a short nap (again) and not succeeding-- the longer I laid there the tighter my chest got. Part of the problem is hormonal-- by this point I've recognized that PMS and anxiety go hand in hand for me-- and part of the problem is exhaustion. I'm fighting the back of a cold that hit earlier this week, in the eternal cough stage. Basically, every time I lie down I start coughing. So sleep has been broken and elusive for about a week now (except when I've gotten desperate and resorted to knock-you-out cold meds). The other major part is the list of stuff hanging over my head. Nothing earth-shattering but it's piling up: taxes, editing, lots of overdue home maintenance, annual medical stuff that I've put off for five years....
RenFest season is upon us too. The good news this year is that Terence has only a couple of Sunday shifts. The bad news is that he has a LOT less RenFest shifts at all, which we heavily depend on to buy groceries. Hopefully he can pick up other off duty work to make up the difference.
We just finished registering M for her junior year, which was way more complicated and expensive than registering for classes was back in the day for me. But we needed to register her for a couple of online classes, plus they sent us to the local community college to take a math placement test for precalc which it turned out she couldn't take without being registered with the college first...*sigh* In the end we paid out $300 in fees and there will be another $150 in July, just for the classes. There goes the piano money I've been saving for months. Plus I'm sure there will be something for J, though we still don't know if he will get accepted to the high school.
That thought alone makes my chest hurt. If J doesn't get his out-of-boundary admission, then we face the dilemma of what school to send him to. And if we are willing to do 3 different schools, or if we will pull M and send her with J. Makes me want to hyperventilate.
"Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not." (D&C 6:36, my most favorite scripture ever!)
Breathe, Heidi. Breathe. It's all going to work out.
OK, I'm lying about the "tiniest bit."
I had a full-blown heavy anxiety afternoon. It's good thing I don't check my blood pressure midday or there would have been angry orange lights for sure. I was trying to take a short nap (again) and not succeeding-- the longer I laid there the tighter my chest got. Part of the problem is hormonal-- by this point I've recognized that PMS and anxiety go hand in hand for me-- and part of the problem is exhaustion. I'm fighting the back of a cold that hit earlier this week, in the eternal cough stage. Basically, every time I lie down I start coughing. So sleep has been broken and elusive for about a week now (except when I've gotten desperate and resorted to knock-you-out cold meds). The other major part is the list of stuff hanging over my head. Nothing earth-shattering but it's piling up: taxes, editing, lots of overdue home maintenance, annual medical stuff that I've put off for five years....
RenFest season is upon us too. The good news this year is that Terence has only a couple of Sunday shifts. The bad news is that he has a LOT less RenFest shifts at all, which we heavily depend on to buy groceries. Hopefully he can pick up other off duty work to make up the difference.
We just finished registering M for her junior year, which was way more complicated and expensive than registering for classes was back in the day for me. But we needed to register her for a couple of online classes, plus they sent us to the local community college to take a math placement test for precalc which it turned out she couldn't take without being registered with the college first...*sigh* In the end we paid out $300 in fees and there will be another $150 in July, just for the classes. There goes the piano money I've been saving for months. Plus I'm sure there will be something for J, though we still don't know if he will get accepted to the high school.
That thought alone makes my chest hurt. If J doesn't get his out-of-boundary admission, then we face the dilemma of what school to send him to. And if we are willing to do 3 different schools, or if we will pull M and send her with J. Makes me want to hyperventilate.
"Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not." (D&C 6:36, my most favorite scripture ever!)
Breathe, Heidi. Breathe. It's all going to work out.
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