The Flip Side
There is a downside to not being depressed.
I've just begun to realize this. Since I have way more energy to deal with life in general, I've kind of been turning into a manic, accomplish everything-under-the-sun-in-one-day kind of person. For example, as I write this it is just after 10am in Arizona. So far today I've already had personal scripture study, gone on a five mile bike ride, gotten M up and driven to school, dug up all the weeds in the front yard, trimmed (hacked to nothing) the tree in the front yard, cleaned my storm door, vacuumed under the couch cushions, gotten J up and ready for school, rearranged the living room furniture, and scrubbed the living room walls, plus feeding and tending to K. As soon as I finish writing this I have another long list I plan to dive right into.
Really, is this such a bad thing? After all, a mom's to-do list is endless, right? Well, it's all the other things my extra energy is leading to. For one thing, I seem to be on a home improvement kick. It wouldn't be a problem, except that I'm so excited to take care of things pronto that I never bother to discuss anything with my husband first. So he comes home from work to find that I've dug the bushes up out of the front yard, or planted vegetables in the back yard or trimmed the tree away to nothing. And, let's just say, Terence doesn't always approve. (He was very exasperated when he walked out the front door this morning and saw what I had done to the tree while he was still sleeping.) Good for my yard, not so good for my relationship with my spouse.
Also, this feeling great stuff has led me to spend money like crazy. OK, I'm not really spending like a shopaholic, but compared to my former penny-pinching frugal ways, this is out of control. There's the cost of my home improvements, for example. Then, apparently you need a major wad of cash to do a triathlon. (So far I've had to buy a new swimsuit, two pairs of goggles, two swim caps, new running shoes, a sports bra, and a watch and I haven't even gone down the bike route yet.) Plus, with all this feeling great about myself and losing weight like crazy, I've also been spending money on clothes, something my husband has never, ever had to deal with during our marriage. Normally, he has to plead with me to spend money on something I intend to wear. I don't have much of a choice now. My shorts keep falling down around my hips. I feel like I'm trying to emulate the local teenage boys.
Come to think of it, all of this negative stuff is not actually negative for me. It's negative for Terence. I wonder if he feels his wife got stolen by the body snatchers or something. After all, I actually care about my clothes, I spend the time (and money) to wear makeup, I turn the house topsy-turvy while he's at work, and all day I run from one thing to the next. My new spending habits mean he needs to be working even more overtime. . . .
Maybe Terence would take the old, apathetic Heidi over the new Stepford Wife he's got. Perhaps it's time to rein it in, just a little. What do you think?
I've just begun to realize this. Since I have way more energy to deal with life in general, I've kind of been turning into a manic, accomplish everything-under-the-sun-in-one-day kind of person. For example, as I write this it is just after 10am in Arizona. So far today I've already had personal scripture study, gone on a five mile bike ride, gotten M up and driven to school, dug up all the weeds in the front yard, trimmed (hacked to nothing) the tree in the front yard, cleaned my storm door, vacuumed under the couch cushions, gotten J up and ready for school, rearranged the living room furniture, and scrubbed the living room walls, plus feeding and tending to K. As soon as I finish writing this I have another long list I plan to dive right into.
Really, is this such a bad thing? After all, a mom's to-do list is endless, right? Well, it's all the other things my extra energy is leading to. For one thing, I seem to be on a home improvement kick. It wouldn't be a problem, except that I'm so excited to take care of things pronto that I never bother to discuss anything with my husband first. So he comes home from work to find that I've dug the bushes up out of the front yard, or planted vegetables in the back yard or trimmed the tree away to nothing. And, let's just say, Terence doesn't always approve. (He was very exasperated when he walked out the front door this morning and saw what I had done to the tree while he was still sleeping.) Good for my yard, not so good for my relationship with my spouse.
Also, this feeling great stuff has led me to spend money like crazy. OK, I'm not really spending like a shopaholic, but compared to my former penny-pinching frugal ways, this is out of control. There's the cost of my home improvements, for example. Then, apparently you need a major wad of cash to do a triathlon. (So far I've had to buy a new swimsuit, two pairs of goggles, two swim caps, new running shoes, a sports bra, and a watch and I haven't even gone down the bike route yet.) Plus, with all this feeling great about myself and losing weight like crazy, I've also been spending money on clothes, something my husband has never, ever had to deal with during our marriage. Normally, he has to plead with me to spend money on something I intend to wear. I don't have much of a choice now. My shorts keep falling down around my hips. I feel like I'm trying to emulate the local teenage boys.
Come to think of it, all of this negative stuff is not actually negative for me. It's negative for Terence. I wonder if he feels his wife got stolen by the body snatchers or something. After all, I actually care about my clothes, I spend the time (and money) to wear makeup, I turn the house topsy-turvy while he's at work, and all day I run from one thing to the next. My new spending habits mean he needs to be working even more overtime. . . .
Maybe Terence would take the old, apathetic Heidi over the new Stepford Wife he's got. Perhaps it's time to rein it in, just a little. What do you think?
Comments
I have a friend who has dealt with depression his whole life. As in, he goes to work, eats, and sleeps and that's it. If he isn't doing the first two, he is asleep. Perpetually. He has been on anti-depressants in the past, but they actually made him active. Except he had no hobbies or interests (never thought to develop any in his life) and he wound up wandering around with nothing to do, so he went back off the meds so he could sleep his day away again. I think if you went off the meds right now, you'd notice a vast difference, and not necessarily for the better. Stick with it a while longer and see if you don't naturally slow down a bit after a while. You're full of energy now because it's something your body hasn't felt in ages. Give it time.
I wish that I had your energy.