Here and Now

As you can imagine, life has been rather busy around here lately, and blogging has slipped down my list. Actually, I spend just as much time at the computer as I ever did because S usually cries within a few minutes if she isn't being held. I can play Words with Friends with one hand, but typing is a bit challenging.

(Speaking of, she's awake and crying already. Pause and I'll come back. . . .)

OK, I'm back with a little bundle on my chest. She's growing like a weed, already out of some of the tiny newborn things I got for her. She had a checkup Friday and after losing a whopping 10 oz. from her birth weight in the first three days, she's more than gained it back. Good job, S!

It's been two weeks of extremes. I've been fighting the blues pretty hard, notwithstanding the antidepressant meds. The fatigue is a killer, and I'm still in pain (yes, two weeks later-- like I said, I tore really badly). On the other hand, there is the miracle of a beautiful baby girl to enjoy. Also, I've had some very personal spiritual moments, experiences that have lifted me up just when I've wondered if I can keep going.

One of the most challenging areas right now is bedtime. It's always been difficult, but now it's often a nightmare. Some nights I haven't gotten the kids into bed until 11pm. (And then you can only imagine what it's like to try and get them up in the morning!) Even on the nights when Terence is home, I'm often a short-tempered or weeping mess by 9pm. Fortunately, I usually feel much better in the morning, even if I'm tired.

Despite those rough moments, I'm trying to focus on enjoying this newborn stage. It will be over so fast. Before I know it S will be too big to snooze on my chest while I update my blog. She'll be running around with the others, and I won't have a tiny baby to cuddle.

Cherish the present. Enjoy the moment. Come what may and love it. I just need to keep these messages in mind, even when I'm exhausted and everything seems too hard.