Finality
Eight weeks old tomorrow-- S, that is. Has it been that long already? I guess it has. She's smiling now-- not all the time, but if she's not too sleepy or fussy and you smile at her, she busts out these big grins that crinkle up her eyes. It's adorable!
Yesterday I had my post-D&C/postpartum checkup with my doctor. I guess everything is looking good and I am now cleared to get back to normal exercise, sex, tampons, swimming and taking baths (oh, finally!). All of those things are rather pleasant parts of my life so I'm glad to get them back. (OK, tampons aren't exactly pleasant but I far, far prefer them to pads, and it makes my time of the month significantly less depressing.) As of now, at least, I will not need a hysterectomy (which I was going to have to consider if the bleeding didn't stop). Since it has died down to occasional spotting, we are assuming that the hemorrhaging problem has been solved. (I'm not 100% confident that all the problems are gone because I quite vividly remember my mom's problems with bleeding and that went on intermittently for several years. Once I've had a few normal periods and I'm back to jogging and there is no gushing, then I'll relax.)
The biggest life changing decision that I made at the doctor appointment was to arrange for a tubal ligation. Yes, I'm getting my tubes tied. The doctor feels that another pregnancy would not be a good idea, and after considering our options, this one felt like the best one. Still, I feel sad about it. This is a no-going-back decision; I will never have another baby. And even though Terence and I had already decided that S was going to be the last, it's still a little bittersweet. Part of me hopes I'm not making a mistake. After all, for quite awhile, Terence and I had insisted after K that we were done, and what if we had done something permanent after him? We would have missed out on sweet little S, and I already can't imagine life without her. However, I know I can't keep on having babies indefinitely just because I would love each one that came into my life. There is a limit to what my body can handle, and I need to be healthy to care for the babies I have.
It's just strange because when I was younger I thought that having children would be so simple. I didn't know that the whole process would help me experience the highest highs of my life and the most excruciating pain and create some of the most perplexing dilemmas. It's not just a simple matter of saying, "I want three kids, I'll have them three years apart, and we'll have the first one exactly two years after we get married" and then sailing through with the plan, with comfortable pregnancies, exhilarating deliveries, and tender moments of bonding with your newborns. Reality has been anything but simple and straightforward!
Any of you ladies who have finished having children have some advice for me? How did you become comfortable with the idea of being done? Was it easy or hard? What helped you make the decision?
Yesterday I had my post-D&C/postpartum checkup with my doctor. I guess everything is looking good and I am now cleared to get back to normal exercise, sex, tampons, swimming and taking baths (oh, finally!). All of those things are rather pleasant parts of my life so I'm glad to get them back. (OK, tampons aren't exactly pleasant but I far, far prefer them to pads, and it makes my time of the month significantly less depressing.) As of now, at least, I will not need a hysterectomy (which I was going to have to consider if the bleeding didn't stop). Since it has died down to occasional spotting, we are assuming that the hemorrhaging problem has been solved. (I'm not 100% confident that all the problems are gone because I quite vividly remember my mom's problems with bleeding and that went on intermittently for several years. Once I've had a few normal periods and I'm back to jogging and there is no gushing, then I'll relax.)
The biggest life changing decision that I made at the doctor appointment was to arrange for a tubal ligation. Yes, I'm getting my tubes tied. The doctor feels that another pregnancy would not be a good idea, and after considering our options, this one felt like the best one. Still, I feel sad about it. This is a no-going-back decision; I will never have another baby. And even though Terence and I had already decided that S was going to be the last, it's still a little bittersweet. Part of me hopes I'm not making a mistake. After all, for quite awhile, Terence and I had insisted after K that we were done, and what if we had done something permanent after him? We would have missed out on sweet little S, and I already can't imagine life without her. However, I know I can't keep on having babies indefinitely just because I would love each one that came into my life. There is a limit to what my body can handle, and I need to be healthy to care for the babies I have.
It's just strange because when I was younger I thought that having children would be so simple. I didn't know that the whole process would help me experience the highest highs of my life and the most excruciating pain and create some of the most perplexing dilemmas. It's not just a simple matter of saying, "I want three kids, I'll have them three years apart, and we'll have the first one exactly two years after we get married" and then sailing through with the plan, with comfortable pregnancies, exhilarating deliveries, and tender moments of bonding with your newborns. Reality has been anything but simple and straightforward!
Any of you ladies who have finished having children have some advice for me? How did you become comfortable with the idea of being done? Was it easy or hard? What helped you make the decision?
Comments
I guess I almost think this is in a way your decision... If you became pregnant again there is a huge chance you could lose your life. And yes, I agree with God all things are possible but I also believe that we have free choice and God can't stop all the bad.
I would be the last person to ever advocate for a woman to permanently chose to have more children - after going through ivf's just to have my own, being able to have children is one of the greatest gifts we are given and it's devasting to not be able to have them. But God also opens doors when another closes. There were many times when we thought we would have to be done and a door opened that allowed for another fertility treatment.
Follow your heart! You will know what is best for you and your family! Sometimes best is not always easy though...
The most important thing is to pray about it, which I am sure you have done, then do what ever you feel is best for you and your family. You have five other children depending on you for the rest of their lives.