Handling It All (Or Not)

Today's damage report:

• 1 box of cornstarch dumped in the sink
• 2 bottles of dishwashing liquid poured out
• 2 bottles of food coloring sprinkled over dishes
• Splatters of taco sauce decorating the kitchen
• 1 Mother's Day card envelope torn to pieces
• 2 bags of popcorn scattered around the living room
• 1 van door left open during a dust storm
• 2 piles of laundry detergent dumped on the laundry room floor
• 1 little boy garnished with splotches of white paint

It's been a rough afternoon.

I really struggled with it when I walked into my kitchen and discovered the worst of the mess.  A few destructive things had already happened, but that's pretty normal in the course of the day and I was able to take it in stride.  But when I came out from putting S down for a nap, I wanted to scream or cry or do some serious spanking (or all three).  Most of the things on that list happened during a very short window while I was feeding S and taking a survey.  And many of them were done by B, who should know better.

Lately I've been trying to remind myself to think before I react angrily with the kids.  Today I kept telling myself that this is the real test, the real challenge of my life right now.  It's not some big, grand ordeal where I prove my endurance and loyalty to God by walking the plains pulling a handcart through a blizzard.  It's how I react with my kids when I am not at my best.  When I am hormonal, when I am depressed, when my head is pounding, when they have destroyed the house again, how do I treat them?

That is my trek across the plains.

And sometimes I think about just giving up and sitting down on the trail and refusing to budge another inch.