5 Ways My Husband Treats Me Like a Queen
Sometimes I wonder if I give my husband enough credit. He's not perfect, and in this world of grumbling and grouching, I've griped about him probably more often than I should. But lately I've been paying better attention and noticing some of the ways that Terence goes out of his way to show me he loves me. It deserves some recognition!
1. He switched his work schedule to four 10 hour days.
This is a real sacrifice for Terence (and in fact, we're only trying it out to see if he can really swing it without losing his mind). He recently finished up a stint as an advisor for an academy class of new officers, and he was required to work "four tens" instead of "five eights." I loved it. It meant I had a whole extra day with him, though we saw less of him during his work week. (Quite frankly, we see so little of him on work days anyway that it's not a huge difference for me.) But Terence loathes working ten hour days. So this is truly a case of him choosing to put my desires before his own.
2. He jumps in with offers to help when I'm swamped, and he doesn't complain.
Last night, for example. Like pretty much every day from now until Christmas, I was overbooked. Though it completely got in the way of his plans for the evening, Terence offered to take half of my list off my plate, even though it meant driving hither and yon and then dealing with K's homework (not pretty).
3. He demands that the kids treat me with respect.
I don't know if you have a problem with this, but with tweens and a teen in the house, we have pretty regular problems with attitude. Terence regularly takes the kids aside and admonishes them to treat me more kindly, in both the words and tone that they use and also by helping me out around the house. He values me and all my hard work, and it kills him when the kids make my life harder. Nothing makes me feel more like Terence and I are a parental team.
4. He reminds me that I'm beautiful. Daily.
Maybe you don't have a problem with this. Maybe I'm the only insecure, shallow one who worries about the way she looks, especially as she grows older. But it's real. I don't look like I did at 24, when we first met. It helps immensely to know that my husband still finds me attractive, even after five kids and 15 years.
5. He supports me emotionally, successfully arguing against the beast in my head.
I have some very negative voices shouting for attention in my head. These nasty commenters are one of the big drivers of my battle with depression. After 15 years of getting to know each other better, Terence can pretty accurately predict what is going on in there now. (If he can't, he asks, and I've learned enough about communication to be honest with him.) It means the world to have him reassure me that I'm not lazy because I read so much, that I'm a good mother despite all my fears, and that I really can keep managing this primary calling, despite all my fears to the contrary. Plus just a little over a week ago, he held me as I irrationally sobbed after my last appointment for my foot and just reminded me that everything was going to be okay (instead of telling me to suck it up, it's not the end of the world that you can't run your marathon!)
These may seem like little things-- he's not bringing me dozens of roses or surprising me with cruises in the Caribbean and diamond necklaces-- but he truly loves me, his actions show me daily, and that makes me feel more like a queen than all the riches in the world.
1. He switched his work schedule to four 10 hour days.
This is a real sacrifice for Terence (and in fact, we're only trying it out to see if he can really swing it without losing his mind). He recently finished up a stint as an advisor for an academy class of new officers, and he was required to work "four tens" instead of "five eights." I loved it. It meant I had a whole extra day with him, though we saw less of him during his work week. (Quite frankly, we see so little of him on work days anyway that it's not a huge difference for me.) But Terence loathes working ten hour days. So this is truly a case of him choosing to put my desires before his own.
2. He jumps in with offers to help when I'm swamped, and he doesn't complain.
Last night, for example. Like pretty much every day from now until Christmas, I was overbooked. Though it completely got in the way of his plans for the evening, Terence offered to take half of my list off my plate, even though it meant driving hither and yon and then dealing with K's homework (not pretty).
3. He demands that the kids treat me with respect.
I don't know if you have a problem with this, but with tweens and a teen in the house, we have pretty regular problems with attitude. Terence regularly takes the kids aside and admonishes them to treat me more kindly, in both the words and tone that they use and also by helping me out around the house. He values me and all my hard work, and it kills him when the kids make my life harder. Nothing makes me feel more like Terence and I are a parental team.
4. He reminds me that I'm beautiful. Daily.
Maybe you don't have a problem with this. Maybe I'm the only insecure, shallow one who worries about the way she looks, especially as she grows older. But it's real. I don't look like I did at 24, when we first met. It helps immensely to know that my husband still finds me attractive, even after five kids and 15 years.
5. He supports me emotionally, successfully arguing against the beast in my head.
I have some very negative voices shouting for attention in my head. These nasty commenters are one of the big drivers of my battle with depression. After 15 years of getting to know each other better, Terence can pretty accurately predict what is going on in there now. (If he can't, he asks, and I've learned enough about communication to be honest with him.) It means the world to have him reassure me that I'm not lazy because I read so much, that I'm a good mother despite all my fears, and that I really can keep managing this primary calling, despite all my fears to the contrary. Plus just a little over a week ago, he held me as I irrationally sobbed after my last appointment for my foot and just reminded me that everything was going to be okay (instead of telling me to suck it up, it's not the end of the world that you can't run your marathon!)
These may seem like little things-- he's not bringing me dozens of roses or surprising me with cruises in the Caribbean and diamond necklaces-- but he truly loves me, his actions show me daily, and that makes me feel more like a queen than all the riches in the world.
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