In Which a Grown Woman Acts Like an Animal to Save Her Sanity
I set myself up for stuff, you know. Maybe I just subconsciously want more entertaining fodder for my blog. Maybe I want to singlehandedly persuade everyone who comes in contact with me that they really should stick with birth control.
Tonight I made a trip to Walmart on my own with all four kids. Now I've already been to Walmart once today (with three of the four kids) so I really, really, really didn't want to do it again. But when I left K in the gym daycare today they managed to lose his pacifier. The only green hospital issue one I have left, and K, being a baby of discerning taste, will accept no substitutions. After listening to him howl unceasingly while I made dinner, I reluctantly decided to make a shopping trip. Better than not getting any sleep tonight. (At least they sell the "soothies" at my Walmart now. No way I want to live through that.)
However, once I ploughed my way through the hour long "get all the kids ready and buckled in the car" routine, I realized that my sister was coming to clean tonight and I was out of the floor cleaner. OK, one other thing to add to the list. Still, two things wasn't so bad. Even with all the kids we should have been able to whiz in and out. Then, I decided I'd better replace the two candy eggs that B had scarfed down in secrecy, since that was hardly fair to M and J. So, three things.
Once at the store, I stuck B and K in separate carts and gave B to M to push (this keeps her out of worse trouble.) J I dropped in the front of mine, and we made kind of a cart caravan. Once in the store I decided to make a quick pilgrimage to the garden center to see if they had cucumber seeds. (According to my county extension list, today is the last day I can plant cucumbers before they will fry to a crisp.) Then I remembered that the kids had dug out all my garden soil from the planter, so I loaded up both M's cart and mine with bags of soil.
Get the pacifiers and get out, already, you may be thinking! You would be right. But then I remembered that I had to pick up a pregnancy test. (Did you just have to read that again?) No, I am NOT trying to have another baby, but I've been having a few physical problems post-K, and the first thing my nurse wanted me to try was a home pg test. I assured her there was no way under the sun I was pregnant, but she insisted. OK, hpt into the basket, check.
Run for the checkout lines, Heidi!!!!
I snagged the mop cleaner and pacifiers without any issues and headed at a rush for the Easter candy aisle. It was mobbed with people. I guess everyone does their Easter shopping Friday night. At least I hope they do, because if they are planning to come tomorrow there will be nothing left. Seriously, the shelves were nearly stripped bare. I couldn't find an exact replacement so I grabbed some non-Easter candy instead. Whew.
During all this my kids were acting like most kids do: whining for treats, loading the cart with candy when I wasn't looking, climbing in and out, hiding in the clothes, etc. Added to this was M's erratic Nascar-style cart pushing, which required me to frequently dart over and prevent her from running over some poor old lady or into the wine display. Needlessly to say, by this time my patience was running a little thin.
By the time we reach the checkout line and the three-part-chorus of "Can I have a treat? Treat! Treat!" I lost my cool and snapped at my kids to cut it out, dang it, nobody's getting a treat. At least I didn't swear. M's response was to grumble and growl her displeasure, and I did the only thing I could do to try and regain my sanity. I snarled at her. Literally.
She laughed and growled back at me, and I turned it into a growling game. Pretty soon four of us were hysterically growling at each other while waiting for our turn at the register. We were still growling when the checkout lady greeted me with a puzzled look. I'm sure I must have seemed insane. A wild-haired woman with four kids and two carts taking turns imitating a bear with her kids.
Can you just imagine what she thought when she scanned the pregnancy test????
Ah well, it's over now. Until the next time I have to run into Walmart for "just one thing."
P.S. The pregnancy test was negative. Hallelujah!
Tonight I made a trip to Walmart on my own with all four kids. Now I've already been to Walmart once today (with three of the four kids) so I really, really, really didn't want to do it again. But when I left K in the gym daycare today they managed to lose his pacifier. The only green hospital issue one I have left, and K, being a baby of discerning taste, will accept no substitutions. After listening to him howl unceasingly while I made dinner, I reluctantly decided to make a shopping trip. Better than not getting any sleep tonight. (At least they sell the "soothies" at my Walmart now. No way I want to live through that.)
However, once I ploughed my way through the hour long "get all the kids ready and buckled in the car" routine, I realized that my sister was coming to clean tonight and I was out of the floor cleaner. OK, one other thing to add to the list. Still, two things wasn't so bad. Even with all the kids we should have been able to whiz in and out. Then, I decided I'd better replace the two candy eggs that B had scarfed down in secrecy, since that was hardly fair to M and J. So, three things.
Once at the store, I stuck B and K in separate carts and gave B to M to push (this keeps her out of worse trouble.) J I dropped in the front of mine, and we made kind of a cart caravan. Once in the store I decided to make a quick pilgrimage to the garden center to see if they had cucumber seeds. (According to my county extension list, today is the last day I can plant cucumbers before they will fry to a crisp.) Then I remembered that the kids had dug out all my garden soil from the planter, so I loaded up both M's cart and mine with bags of soil.
Get the pacifiers and get out, already, you may be thinking! You would be right. But then I remembered that I had to pick up a pregnancy test. (Did you just have to read that again?) No, I am NOT trying to have another baby, but I've been having a few physical problems post-K, and the first thing my nurse wanted me to try was a home pg test. I assured her there was no way under the sun I was pregnant, but she insisted. OK, hpt into the basket, check.
Run for the checkout lines, Heidi!!!!
I snagged the mop cleaner and pacifiers without any issues and headed at a rush for the Easter candy aisle. It was mobbed with people. I guess everyone does their Easter shopping Friday night. At least I hope they do, because if they are planning to come tomorrow there will be nothing left. Seriously, the shelves were nearly stripped bare. I couldn't find an exact replacement so I grabbed some non-Easter candy instead. Whew.
During all this my kids were acting like most kids do: whining for treats, loading the cart with candy when I wasn't looking, climbing in and out, hiding in the clothes, etc. Added to this was M's erratic Nascar-style cart pushing, which required me to frequently dart over and prevent her from running over some poor old lady or into the wine display. Needlessly to say, by this time my patience was running a little thin.
By the time we reach the checkout line and the three-part-chorus of "Can I have a treat? Treat! Treat!" I lost my cool and snapped at my kids to cut it out, dang it, nobody's getting a treat. At least I didn't swear. M's response was to grumble and growl her displeasure, and I did the only thing I could do to try and regain my sanity. I snarled at her. Literally.
She laughed and growled back at me, and I turned it into a growling game. Pretty soon four of us were hysterically growling at each other while waiting for our turn at the register. We were still growling when the checkout lady greeted me with a puzzled look. I'm sure I must have seemed insane. A wild-haired woman with four kids and two carts taking turns imitating a bear with her kids.
Can you just imagine what she thought when she scanned the pregnancy test????
Ah well, it's over now. Until the next time I have to run into Walmart for "just one thing."
P.S. The pregnancy test was negative. Hallelujah!
Comments
That is a funny story! love it!