Proof a College Degree Doesn't Mean You're Smart
Do any of you know who Steve Harvey is? Not running in comedy circles, I didn't have any idea, but he's a black comedian with his own radio and TV shows. Last year he also came out with a book on relationships, which I checked out from the library. It's funny as all get out, but part of me can't seriously believe men think like this, though he solemnly assures us it is so. I started reading parts of it to Terence rather incredulously last night, who only laughed and said this is as an accurate picture of how black men think as you can get. Apparently, his uncles and cousins all act and think this way.
Yikes!!! I don't know how I got so lucky because my black man doesn't think, talk or act like this. But just in case you are planning to date a guy like this, or you just want to get some hilarious insight on how those kind of men think, the book's called Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. (I'm going to make sure M and B are well informed about all of this stuff, just in case!)
I actually made it to Gypsum without incident, can you believe that? In fact, when I drove into town, it was sunny and pleasant, no sign of snow or anything. Yet I was still deep in the mountains. It puzzled the heck out of me, not being used to how odd Colorado weather is, but I wasn't about to complain. Since my trip had been smooth so far, I was actually quite a bit early for my flow test. I bought some lunch and hung out in the parking lot, reading a book and dozing a little bit. Eventually, it was time to go do the flow test, which was way off the freeway, back behind the little airport Gypsum boasted. It was lucky I found the place actually. It was several miles from any stores, buildings or people that I could see. (Seemed like an odd place to build a Home Depot to me, but I didn't pick the sites, I just tested them.)
I waited . . . and waited . . . and waited. The fire department didn't show. I tried calling their office a couple of times and just got an answering machine. At this point, I think my dad had called a couple of times, just to make sure that I was doing OK, so at least I didn't feel all alone in the world. But at this point I was really wondering what I should do. Give up and go home? Drive around and hope I stumbled across the fire station?
Finally, after what felt like forever, the fire guys rolled up. Apparently they had been out on a call, and this was such a small fire department that they were all there was. No separate fire prevention people or even someone in the office if they had to go to an emergency. It was a new experience for me-- generally, if a place is big enough for a big box store, they are big enough to have a decent-sized fire department. However, these guys may have been from a small department, but they clearly knew how to do a flow test. All I had to do was sit back and watch while they efficiently got it done for me. Then they wished me a good afternoon and quickly took off, seeing as they didn't want to be stuck out in the middle of nowhere should another call come in.
I took my time about leaving. Instead of heading right back out onto the road, I filled out all my paperwork with the test results, drew a map, and basically made sure I wasn't forgetting anything. I didn't realize I had forgotten something vitally important already.
When I eventually slid back into the driver's seat and turned the key, the battery was completely dead. See, way back during the snowstorm I had of course turned on my headlights. Since this was a rental car, I didn't remember to turn them off, and the car didn't beep annoyingly at me (like my own did) to remind me to do it. So the car had sat through two hours with the lights running off the battery during my lunch, and then another who knows how long while I waited for the fire dept to show up and the flow test to get done.
Uh oh. Here I was in the middle of nowhere in the Rocky Mountains with a dead battery. At this point I was just kicking myself because why hadn't I tried to start my car before the fire guys left? Certainly they could have jumped my battery for me! About this time I got another call from my dad, and I quickly ruined his afternoon. He was very worried. I also talked to my boss for some advice on what to do, who asked me if I had a AAA card I could use. Feeling like an even bigger idiot, I meekly answered that yes, I could call AAA.
After I placed my call to AAA (who reassured me that they had a guy nearby who would be out in 15 minutes) I found out I had forgotten another very, very important thing.
My cell phone battery was nearly out of juice. All that time I had never remembered to plug it into the car charger. And now I had a dead car battery, so I couldn't charge the cell phone. My dad called again, and I explained the cell phone situation, which turned him from worried into frantic. (At this point he may have wanted to throttle my boss for sending me on this trip in the first place!) I couldn't turn the phone off to conserve what little battery power I had left because AAA told me they would call back if there were any problems.
Fifteen minutes ticked by and no sign of the tow truck. Thirty minutes passed, and still no sign of the tow truck! (Maybe he had gotten caught in an avalanche? I wondered. Or he was coming from Denver?) Finally, AAA called back to say the tow truck couldn't find me at the location I had given them. What the heck!!!! I knew I had the streets right, or how would the fire department had met me there? But in the middle of me trying to explain where exactly I was to the AAA lady, my phone died.
Now I was truly terrified. I was stuck miles from any kind of place I could walk to, with a tow truck who couldn't find me, and darkening skies that hinted that maybe the snowstorm was going to hit Gypsum after all.
(OK, I'm going to have to continue this again. I know I'm leaving you hanging, but I promise to finish the tale next time!)
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