The Worth of a Journey
Once when I was at a church activity for young single adult women, a bunch of us girls who had served missions for the church had gathered together and were telling horror stories from our missions. We all had plenty of them to share-- crazy, hard experiences that knock you upside the head when you're a missionary (especially one serving in another country). There was one girl who had joined our group who hadn't served a mission (though she was strongly considering it). She rebuked us a little bit, saying that the way we were talking made her feel like missions must be one long torture session, and every other returned missionary she'd heard always talked about how amazing it was.
We immediately changed our tune, reassuring her that missions were indeed wonderful, incredible experiences. She still seemed disappointed with all of us (whether for shattering her rose-colored ideal of what a mission is like or for not being spiritual giants who, like Paul, "gloried in tribulation," I'm still not sure). She did however make the observation that if missions were as hard as we were saying, she didn't know why anyone went.
Recently I read a blog post that touched on a similar kind of experience with regards to parenthood. The author was questioning whether all of our moaning about how hard it is to be a parent is discouraging others from wanting to become parents in the first place. I understood what she was saying, but at first I didn't take it seriously. Who, after all, wants to become a parent because of hearing stories about how wonderful it is? But in the comments there were a couple of women who said essentially that they did not yet have children and they weren't sure they wanted to, since all the parents they knew lamented all the time about how hard it is and "how much they just want to get away from the kids!"
This started me thinking about a couple of different things. The first is why we want to have children in the first place. Why did I want to have children? Did I make a rational list of the pros and cons? Of course not. I grew up always knowing I wanted a family because I knew that the was the whole point of our existence. I'm sure there was a fair amount of the biological drive involved too. (Though judging by the declining worldwide birth rate, biology is easily thwarted.) However, I guess there are a fair amount of people who don't want to have kids if it isn't going to be "worth it."
What makes having kids worth it? What makes serving a mission worth it? Is it only worth it if it is filled with glowing, uplifting experiences all the time? If even during the hard times you feel like a noble hero? Of course not. This is real life, not a movie. I read somewhere once that becoming a parent is like emigrating to a far country. It's true. You leave your old life behind and things are never same again. And I've found that experience to be challenging, wonderful, heart-breaking, boring, exhilarating, frustrating, tender, exhausting, beautiful and generally amazing.
Notice "easy" is nowhere in that list. But there are a lot of powerful, positive emotions involved.
That in a nutshell, is what this life is all about. Experience opposition in all things, tasting the bitter so that we know to prize the sweet. However, maybe I should put just a little more effort into sharing the wondrous parts of being a mother. I can do my part to help reassure those who are standing on the docks debating whether they should get on the ship at all that the destination is worth it.
We immediately changed our tune, reassuring her that missions were indeed wonderful, incredible experiences. She still seemed disappointed with all of us (whether for shattering her rose-colored ideal of what a mission is like or for not being spiritual giants who, like Paul, "gloried in tribulation," I'm still not sure). She did however make the observation that if missions were as hard as we were saying, she didn't know why anyone went.
Recently I read a blog post that touched on a similar kind of experience with regards to parenthood. The author was questioning whether all of our moaning about how hard it is to be a parent is discouraging others from wanting to become parents in the first place. I understood what she was saying, but at first I didn't take it seriously. Who, after all, wants to become a parent because of hearing stories about how wonderful it is? But in the comments there were a couple of women who said essentially that they did not yet have children and they weren't sure they wanted to, since all the parents they knew lamented all the time about how hard it is and "how much they just want to get away from the kids!"
This started me thinking about a couple of different things. The first is why we want to have children in the first place. Why did I want to have children? Did I make a rational list of the pros and cons? Of course not. I grew up always knowing I wanted a family because I knew that the was the whole point of our existence. I'm sure there was a fair amount of the biological drive involved too. (Though judging by the declining worldwide birth rate, biology is easily thwarted.) However, I guess there are a fair amount of people who don't want to have kids if it isn't going to be "worth it."
What makes having kids worth it? What makes serving a mission worth it? Is it only worth it if it is filled with glowing, uplifting experiences all the time? If even during the hard times you feel like a noble hero? Of course not. This is real life, not a movie. I read somewhere once that becoming a parent is like emigrating to a far country. It's true. You leave your old life behind and things are never same again. And I've found that experience to be challenging, wonderful, heart-breaking, boring, exhilarating, frustrating, tender, exhausting, beautiful and generally amazing.
Notice "easy" is nowhere in that list. But there are a lot of powerful, positive emotions involved.
That in a nutshell, is what this life is all about. Experience opposition in all things, tasting the bitter so that we know to prize the sweet. However, maybe I should put just a little more effort into sharing the wondrous parts of being a mother. I can do my part to help reassure those who are standing on the docks debating whether they should get on the ship at all that the destination is worth it.
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| They ARE worth it!! |
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