Serve, Protect, & Stress
I'm having a crazy emotional day, and my stress level is rising over things I have no control over. So I thought I'd take a moment to blog while I have a short window to see if writing will help me find the way to the land of calmness before I tackle my next round of craziness.
Some of this stress lately has to do with life in the world of being a cop (or his family). It absolutely falls into the category of something I can't do anything about. (Most of the stress is actually Terence's, but to a certain degree I get dragged through it too.) It's been a tough couple of weeks. Last week a highway patrol officer was killed when a tanker truck ran into his patrol car when he was sitting on the side of the freeway. This was hard for me to hear-- it's one of my worst nightmare fears for Terence-- but it was even harder for him. He didn't know the officer personally since he was assigned to another part of the state, but of course Terence heard all the gory details. It affected him deeply and he had to talk it over with me. (I won't repeat it all here. Needless to say, it hurt just to listen to.) For Terence it brought back other fatality accidents he has worked and those are memories he'd just rather not think about.
The worst challenging incident of the past couple weeks is, unfortunately, an incident that I can't exactly go into detail about, lest I get Terence into trouble. (The case is still open and there will likely be criminal charges involved. Maybe even a civil lawsuit.) Anyway, it was another accident where someone was severely injured and died a few days later. The tricky part was that it involved someone that Terence was acquainted with, relatives of our neighbors.
It was awful.
It probably could have been prevented.
My heart is breaking for the family.
There is little that we can do for them, and the situation is awkward. I don't know them well enough myself to feel like I can help anyway.
But then it got worse.
Terence may just get dragged into an internal investigation over it. Again, I can't offer details, but sometimes stupid bureaucratic things make me want to bang my head against the wall. Sometimes, just trying to do the right thing-- trying to be friendly to your neighbors, trying to follow department policies, and trying to explain yourself the best you can-- isn't good enough. I think what makes Terence the most frustrated is that anyone would doubt his integrity.
If you have a moment, spare a thought to those cops that are out trying to do their jobs well. They go through a lot of awful stuff, and it's a tough job. For the family, too.
Some of this stress lately has to do with life in the world of being a cop (or his family). It absolutely falls into the category of something I can't do anything about. (Most of the stress is actually Terence's, but to a certain degree I get dragged through it too.) It's been a tough couple of weeks. Last week a highway patrol officer was killed when a tanker truck ran into his patrol car when he was sitting on the side of the freeway. This was hard for me to hear-- it's one of my worst nightmare fears for Terence-- but it was even harder for him. He didn't know the officer personally since he was assigned to another part of the state, but of course Terence heard all the gory details. It affected him deeply and he had to talk it over with me. (I won't repeat it all here. Needless to say, it hurt just to listen to.) For Terence it brought back other fatality accidents he has worked and those are memories he'd just rather not think about.
The worst challenging incident of the past couple weeks is, unfortunately, an incident that I can't exactly go into detail about, lest I get Terence into trouble. (The case is still open and there will likely be criminal charges involved. Maybe even a civil lawsuit.) Anyway, it was another accident where someone was severely injured and died a few days later. The tricky part was that it involved someone that Terence was acquainted with, relatives of our neighbors.
It was awful.
It probably could have been prevented.
My heart is breaking for the family.
There is little that we can do for them, and the situation is awkward. I don't know them well enough myself to feel like I can help anyway.
But then it got worse.
Terence may just get dragged into an internal investigation over it. Again, I can't offer details, but sometimes stupid bureaucratic things make me want to bang my head against the wall. Sometimes, just trying to do the right thing-- trying to be friendly to your neighbors, trying to follow department policies, and trying to explain yourself the best you can-- isn't good enough. I think what makes Terence the most frustrated is that anyone would doubt his integrity.
If you have a moment, spare a thought to those cops that are out trying to do their jobs well. They go through a lot of awful stuff, and it's a tough job. For the family, too.
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