Playing Plain Dumb
One of the great things about my marriage is how Terence and I can make up for each other's weaknesses so well. For example, I am the fine print reader in the family. Terence would get one sentence into legal jibberish and give up. However, when it comes to dealing with people-- whether it is a salesman, a doctor or a new acquaintance-- Terence makes up for my complete awkwardness. I tend in a people situation to either clam up completely, get contentious, or nod my head or say yes when I really mean no. So when it comes to any major decisions (like buying a car), I'm usually the one who does the research and Terence seals the deal.
This division of labor has led to a rather interesting phenomenon, one where I am not exactly honest. More often than not when dealing with a salesperson, I am likely to fall into a "I'm the brain-dead housewife who doesn't make decisions" role. It's not remotely close to the truth-- in actuality, I research and make the call for most of our purchases in the family, whether big or small. (Well, not in the case of tires or computer hardware related stuff-- these areas are more Terence's style. Though I'm always the one to read the fine print here too.)
Way back in the day when we bought our first vehicle together, I remember doing these test drives with Terence where some of the sales guys would spend the whole time talking the car up to Terence and ignoring me altogether. I always found it a little irritating but extremely convenient. They were pushy with him, yet they had no idea that to sell us a car they had to convince me. In that case it was easy for Terence to tell them no while we thought about it and compared. (Whereas I would have succumbed under pressure and then been furious about it later.) The only time this didn't go well for us was when we went car shopping when I was pregnant. I was too irritable to play the dumb-wife-idiot role, yet too brain-dead with hormones and hunger to resist the hard sell when we needed more time. (Dang it, they figured out that I was the one to work on.)
Anyway, the ridiculousness of this charade struck me yesterday when I had some guy come to the door trying to convince me to let him replace the driver's side window in the truck. I think the last time one of those guys came by I was very short on sleep and ended up arguing with him and being snottily sarcastic and then feeling guilty about it for the next several months. So this time I wanted to stay friendly and polite while still avoiding the sale. (When and if we decide to replace any auto glass, it will NOT be with the random unknown joe who knocks at the door.) Well, he starts of with a little intro about who he is and then the conversation goes something like this:
Glass dude: So do you know if you have glass coverage?
Me: Ummm, no. . . .
(This is a complete and utter falsehood, since I'm the one who read the full insurance policy and OK'd it for Terence.)
Glass dude: No problem, we can find out. Who's your insurance company?
Me: Safeco, I think.
(As if I would possibly be unsure of this!)
Glass dude: Great! How about I give Safeco a call, verify your coverage, and we can have that window replaced with no cost to you? I get a spot filled in my route and you get a new window for free, it's a win-win!!
Me: No, thanks!
(I was very polite and cheerful. Score that. I think I was coming off as a friendly airhead quite nicely.)
Glass dude: May I ask why not? You have nothing to lose!
Me: Well, uh, it's my husband's truck, and you know, I just don't make decisions like that.
(Given in my best "I'm an idiot" voice.)
Glass dude: No problem. Here's my card. Give it to your husband and he can give us a call. Thanks for not screaming at me!
(Yes, he honestly said that. He must have run into a few annoyed people before me. Probably people with "No Soliciting" signs on their door where he knocked anyway.)
So for me, this whole scenario was a win-win situation. I got to be nice and polite and not argue and not feel guilty and I also didn't end up buying something I didn't want. Best of all, he gave up quickly and quit trying to wheedle me into buying his glass. Still, perhaps this kind of fakery is throwing my integrity out the window. But for someone who can't stand the hard sellers (either I'm horribly rude or I'm a pushover), there doesn't seem to be a very Christlike way to handle it.
What do you think? How would you handle these kind of situations if you were me? (Other than not answering the door in the first place. I'll admit that is my number one strategy!!)
This division of labor has led to a rather interesting phenomenon, one where I am not exactly honest. More often than not when dealing with a salesperson, I am likely to fall into a "I'm the brain-dead housewife who doesn't make decisions" role. It's not remotely close to the truth-- in actuality, I research and make the call for most of our purchases in the family, whether big or small. (Well, not in the case of tires or computer hardware related stuff-- these areas are more Terence's style. Though I'm always the one to read the fine print here too.)
Way back in the day when we bought our first vehicle together, I remember doing these test drives with Terence where some of the sales guys would spend the whole time talking the car up to Terence and ignoring me altogether. I always found it a little irritating but extremely convenient. They were pushy with him, yet they had no idea that to sell us a car they had to convince me. In that case it was easy for Terence to tell them no while we thought about it and compared. (Whereas I would have succumbed under pressure and then been furious about it later.) The only time this didn't go well for us was when we went car shopping when I was pregnant. I was too irritable to play the dumb-wife-idiot role, yet too brain-dead with hormones and hunger to resist the hard sell when we needed more time. (Dang it, they figured out that I was the one to work on.)
Anyway, the ridiculousness of this charade struck me yesterday when I had some guy come to the door trying to convince me to let him replace the driver's side window in the truck. I think the last time one of those guys came by I was very short on sleep and ended up arguing with him and being snottily sarcastic and then feeling guilty about it for the next several months. So this time I wanted to stay friendly and polite while still avoiding the sale. (When and if we decide to replace any auto glass, it will NOT be with the random unknown joe who knocks at the door.) Well, he starts of with a little intro about who he is and then the conversation goes something like this:
Glass dude: So do you know if you have glass coverage?
Me: Ummm, no. . . .
(This is a complete and utter falsehood, since I'm the one who read the full insurance policy and OK'd it for Terence.)
Glass dude: No problem, we can find out. Who's your insurance company?
Me: Safeco, I think.
(As if I would possibly be unsure of this!)
Glass dude: Great! How about I give Safeco a call, verify your coverage, and we can have that window replaced with no cost to you? I get a spot filled in my route and you get a new window for free, it's a win-win!!
Me: No, thanks!
(I was very polite and cheerful. Score that. I think I was coming off as a friendly airhead quite nicely.)
Glass dude: May I ask why not? You have nothing to lose!
Me: Well, uh, it's my husband's truck, and you know, I just don't make decisions like that.
(Given in my best "I'm an idiot" voice.)
Glass dude: No problem. Here's my card. Give it to your husband and he can give us a call. Thanks for not screaming at me!
(Yes, he honestly said that. He must have run into a few annoyed people before me. Probably people with "No Soliciting" signs on their door where he knocked anyway.)
So for me, this whole scenario was a win-win situation. I got to be nice and polite and not argue and not feel guilty and I also didn't end up buying something I didn't want. Best of all, he gave up quickly and quit trying to wheedle me into buying his glass. Still, perhaps this kind of fakery is throwing my integrity out the window. But for someone who can't stand the hard sellers (either I'm horribly rude or I'm a pushover), there doesn't seem to be a very Christlike way to handle it.
What do you think? How would you handle these kind of situations if you were me? (Other than not answering the door in the first place. I'll admit that is my number one strategy!!)
Comments
Sometimes I really don't know about stuff and then I'm honestly saying stuff like, "really my husband said to just replace the one tire," because I have no idea when he replaced the other three. Its just the division of labor. He buys stuff for the cars and I buy groceries.
I think your little fib was okay. Salesmen can be pushy and sometimes they push a little harder when dealing with a women than a man.