Maybe

I am at a low tonight.

I can't get up any enthusiasm for practically anything.  (There is a tiny bit of happiness at having a brand new niece.)  My regular life seems too hard and too bleak.  The small bits of light that I have had today seem to be overwhelmed by a huge case of the blues.

I kind of gave up on my Hope Project.  I haven't posted anything new in awhile...it felt like I was stretching every day for something to call a "triumph," and it was all the same stuff.

Then I feel guilty for throwing myself a pity party because I know my life is jam-packed with blessings, but neither guilt nor pity nor gratitude seem to make me any more optimistic.

I get on the computer and every which direction I read stuff that just makes me feel worse, even just facebook postings from family and friends.

Maybe it's just that I'm perpetually tired.  Maybe I'm just hormonal.  Maybe the perpetual chaos in my home is wearing me down.

Maybe I'll feel better in the morning.