Once Upon a Time . . .

I love reading stories of how people end up married to each other. It's fascinating the way that random little circumstances can bring people together in a way that leads to them building a family and living a life together. So today I thought I'd share with you my version of how I ended up married to Terence. (Terence, of course, has his own version, which is just a little bit different. If you really want to hear an interesting story, listen to your spouse tell the story of how you got together. It was an eye-opener for me!)


My story begins with a girl who was finishing up BYU with no marriage prospects in sight. I was only 21, which now seems so young, but with the dating/marriage culture the way it is at the Y, I was starting to feel a bit like an old maid. Not because I was so old (even then I recognized that I was still on the young side) but because I was about to graduate from BYU without a husband, fiance, or even a missionary out in the field. Even worse, I had sent in my mission papers, and somehow I'd gotten the idea wedged in my brain that as a returned missionary with a college degree, I would never be able to find someone to marry. Especially since I wasn't coming home to the exalted Happy Valley. Where else would I find the right kind of guy for me?


Fast forward eighteen months. Like many others, I came home from my mission totally at a loss as to what to do with myself. Earlier I had considered law school, but after some serious reflection and prayers, determined that this was not the best direction for me. My dad suggested that I come "temp" for his office down in Mission Valley for a little while-- his office manager was going out for surgery, and a little extra help would be needed on the receptionist end. I took him up on the offer, and I guess I impressed the regional manager because I was offered a full time job as an assistant consultant. So I worked out a deal with my parents that I would continue to live with them for a year until I paid off my new car, then I would find some roommates and move out.


Now the hardest thing about coming home from a mission for me was being alone. I had spent a year and a half spending every waking moment with another young woman, some of whom had become my best friends. So right off the bat I started attending our local singles ward (a church congregation made up of young single adults.) I was not at all looking for dating opportunities. What I wanted was a close girlfriend. My good friends from high school were all married or away by the time I returned to the area, so I had to start over from scratch.

For those of you who have read the Twilight series, remember how when Bella moves to Forks she is suddenly the hot commodity with the guys when she was a virtual nobody in Scottsdale? That was my post-mission existence too. At BYU I was essentially ignored by the guys-- I can count the number of dates I went on there on my hands, and several of those, I did the asking. So I wasn't used to being a sought-after-for-dating kind of girl.

Apparently, being new in the singles ward has its advantages. I immediately found myself being rather frequently asked on dates, to my great discomfort. But although some of these guys became my friends and I enjoyed "hanging out" with them, I was still not interested in anything more romantic.

Enter Terence.

He was a long time resident of the singles ward by then, at least for our ward, and everyone knew him and everyone liked him. It did not take me long to figure out who he was, since "TJ" was always in the thick of things, activities, dating, you name it. He was always super friendly to everyone, and my first memories of him were of him standing at the door to the chapel and very warmly welcoming me to church. (In fact, I wondered if his calling was to be the door greeter. We had those at BYU.)

He was so friendly, and so involved in dating various girls in the ward that I didn't even realize that he might actually be interested in me personally. But I later learned that every time he spoke to me was part of a concerted effort to soften me up so he could ask me out. I guess I was a little intimidating, and he felt like he got the cold shoulder from me repeatedly.

It may never have gone further if he hadn't been persistent. I'll be back with the rest of the story tomorrow. In the meantime, those of you who are bloggers, I invite you to tell the story of how you ended up with your spouse. (And let me know in the comments so I can go read it!) I can't wait to hear your stories too!