On Solid Ground

I just finished reading Inheritance by Christopher Paolini; it's the fourth and final book in the Eragon series.  It was a good read-- a lot of fighting but I kind of expected that.  One thing in particular struck me, and I've been pondering it this morning.  I discussed it a bit with Terence and then had some inspiration regarding it while I was reading my scriptures this morning.

The main character in the series (Eragon) goes through quite a transformation during the story, starting as a poor, uneducated farm boy and ending as a powerful (and immortal) Dragon Rider with extraordinary physical, mental and magical abilities.  At the beginning he is a believer in the religion of his fellow villagers, someone who  fears the gods and trusts that there are higher powers in the universe.  By the end of the book, he has become an agnostic verging on certain atheism.  The overriding impression I got was that the author was espousing the concept that as you get more educated and sophisticated, you realize how there is no real basis for religious belief.  (He doesn't bludgeon you over the head with the idea, though, so don't let that put you off reading the books if you're interested.)

But that got me thinking this morning.  Eragon makes an observation at the end of the book that he'd rather believe in living a long, fruitful life and then "passing into the void" rather than spending an eternity in stagnation, even if it's with the people he loves.  That gave me pause.  First of all, I know we're not going to spend eternity "stagnating"-- that really would be boring, no doubt.  But to calmly resign yourself to never again seeing the people you love and believing that it's better and more realistic that way?

Here is where I'll be completely honest with you-- while I was doing the dishes this morning, I had this terrifying thought: what if there really is nothing after this life?  That when we die we simply cease to exist?  What if God really is nothing but our imagination?

Thinking like this is like staring out over an endless, dark abyss and knowing that you could slip into it at any second.  It's very frightening.  And I fretted over it for most of the morning.  It felt like my faith had suddenly dissolved and left me flailing wildly with nothing to hold on.  But as I fed S and read the Book of Mormon this morning, I had a calm sense of peace drift over me.

Even if there really was nothing there, which belief would help me live a happier, more fruitful life?  By trusting in a Higher Power and focusing on my family relationships.  Living with my thoughts focused on eternity and having faith in Jesus Christ has brought me nothing but strength and peace.  As soon as I felt that peace, everything slid back into balance for me.  My faith, my belief in the gospel, my trust in Heavenly Father and His plan for us.  It's such a good feeling-- a secure feeling that leaves me free to continue on my life's journey, facing the trials that come with confidence that all things will work together for my good.

It feels like freedom.

Comments

Lissy said…
Nicely put. I love that at BYU you get the feeling that the more educated you become the more you believe in a higher power and a master plan. There are so many patterns in nature that make that evident. I think it's just weird that people can think their consciousness will just cease, and be OK with that. I think the gospel focus on the family also makes people work harder to be happier in their family relationships which makes for more fulfilling lives.
Anonymous said…
Thirty years ago before I became really active and that dark character had more influence on me I would have those feelings sometimes. But since I've become active and have such a strong testimony I have NEVER ever felt those feelings again. I love how you explained it. It brought it all back to me.

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