On a Serious Note
I had the horrible misfortune to find myself standing in Walmart looking through the sympathy section of the greeting cards this morning. Have you found yourself there before? Except in rare cases (like when someone's 98 year old grandma passes away and everybody's glad she's finally at rest), it's never a happy moment. I kept picking up cards that seemed to say trite things that are probably true but no help at all to someone who has just lost a loved one. Worse, the vast majority of the collection seemed to say dumb things like "May all the joyful memories of the past bring you comfort" which did not at all seem appropriate for this occasion.
You see, one of the sisters in my ward had some complications during her pregnancy and lost her baby. She was due later this month. I don't know all the details but I'm sure that the loss of Molly's baby girl was as heart-wrenching and difficult as any other death, only with the added challenge of feeling that she never got to know her daughter at all before she was taken away.
Molly is a friend but not a close one. And I know she has family in our ward and good friends who are supporting her through this difficult time. But my heart is breaking with sympathy and I wanted to do something to show support as well, without intruding or making myself a nuisance when she is just barely figuring out how to cope with this. So often when we go to "comfort" someone it can be a burden rather than a help-- they feel like they have to say the right things to us or worse yet, comfort us and say that they're really OK, thanks. After some prayerful pondering I decided to send a card. It wasn't easy. I kept tearing up as I read through the cards, trite messages or not. I finally found one that said almost exactly what I would say in person.
I will continue to pray for her as well. I know that Heavenly Father grieves with Molly and her family during this time also and the Savior will be there for her along the way. I know that the plan of salvation offers Molly hope that she will get to hold her baby girl again someday and that she will get to know her daughter.
I know that excruciating experiences like this will all turn out right in the end. I have no doubt that everything works together for our good. Still, a part of me hopes I never have to learn this firsthand. I don't know if I'm strong enough to get through losing a child. Hopefully with all of our help, and through the grace of God, Molly will be.
You see, one of the sisters in my ward had some complications during her pregnancy and lost her baby. She was due later this month. I don't know all the details but I'm sure that the loss of Molly's baby girl was as heart-wrenching and difficult as any other death, only with the added challenge of feeling that she never got to know her daughter at all before she was taken away.
Molly is a friend but not a close one. And I know she has family in our ward and good friends who are supporting her through this difficult time. But my heart is breaking with sympathy and I wanted to do something to show support as well, without intruding or making myself a nuisance when she is just barely figuring out how to cope with this. So often when we go to "comfort" someone it can be a burden rather than a help-- they feel like they have to say the right things to us or worse yet, comfort us and say that they're really OK, thanks. After some prayerful pondering I decided to send a card. It wasn't easy. I kept tearing up as I read through the cards, trite messages or not. I finally found one that said almost exactly what I would say in person.
I will continue to pray for her as well. I know that Heavenly Father grieves with Molly and her family during this time also and the Savior will be there for her along the way. I know that the plan of salvation offers Molly hope that she will get to hold her baby girl again someday and that she will get to know her daughter.
I know that excruciating experiences like this will all turn out right in the end. I have no doubt that everything works together for our good. Still, a part of me hopes I never have to learn this firsthand. I don't know if I'm strong enough to get through losing a child. Hopefully with all of our help, and through the grace of God, Molly will be.
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my greatest fear.