Forgive Him or Forget Him?

Happy Thursday! My house is clean again, I feel back to normal, and I swam half a mile with only mild soreness in my recovering arm and shoulder. Truly a happy day! So just to mix things up, let's tackle a truly unhappy subject. It's time to discuss the cheating issue from the poll question. (By the way, thanks to everyone who voted. I know the poll wasn't working like it was supposed to, so I'm glad you persisted!)

Well, we are clearly not in favor of infidelity in this group. Some of you believe it is something you could never forgive, and most of you think forgiveness would depend on the circumstances. Of course, I didn't really think any one would seriously choose the "swinging" route, but I felt honor bound to list the option because (unfortunately) I do know there are people who live that kind of lifestyle (or wish they could). Even among church members who should know better. But enough of that particular option because that is way too depressing to contemplate this early in the morning.

Not a single person voted for the "I would forgive no matter what" option, but that's only because the one person who would have voted for it doesn't read my blog and definitely doesn't vote in my polls. That person is my apparently utterly unconditionally loving spouse, Terence. We were discussing the topic (can't remember for the life of me how it came up) and Terence strongly believes that if I were unfaithful to him, he would forgive it no matter what. I have to admit, I was quite skeptical. So I elaborated for him. "What if I decided I was in love with that other man and left you for him?" He insisted that he loves me so much that he would forgive me and let me run off to be happy with my found-in-adultery soulmate. "What if I had cheated on you with lots and lots of different men?" I tried. He still obstinately held that he loves me no matter what and he would forgive it. Not only would he forgive me, he would never leave me over it.

Well.

It's good for him that he'll never have to find out from experience because I bet it would be harder than he thinks. If the situation were reversed, I would find it very, very hard to forgive. Oh, I would work really hard to forgive him for my own peace of mind, but I don't know that our marriage would survive it. My trust in him would be shattered. Not to mention that it would probably destroy me emotionally. My self-esteem would take a staggering blow from any kind of infidelity. Depending on the circumstances though, I would agree to try and stay with him. As long as he was truly repentant about it and determined to fix things. Good can come from those kinds of horrible situations in the long run. But oh, it would be so painful to live through.

Good thing I don't ever expect it to happen!!!!