Carpet Catastrophes

This afternoon I had the joy of dabbing up a watermelon-sized patch of spilled juice on the carpet and noticed that my bottle of Folex carpet cleaner is nearly empty again. I should have bought stock in that company when I first had children. A gallon-size bottle of the stuff only lasts me two months at the most, maybe less, depending on what kind of month it was. Anyway, I feel like I am truly becoming an expert on what you can and cannot get out of carpet. So here is my top ten list of the most difficult carpet stains to tackle, having personal experience (sometimes in multiple instances) with all of them.

Heidi's Top Ten Worst Carpet Catastrophes

10. Orange juice (not so bad in little quantities, but a pint or greater is a pain.)

9. Chocolate Reliv shake (the stuff sinks down into the pad and just seems to keep popping up again forever.)

8. Brownies, crumbled and ground in/melted chocolate chips (same effect)

7. Urine (Even my potty-trained children are guilty of this from time to time. I don't get it.)

6. Dishwashing detergent (If a whole bottle is poured out, it is much harder to get out than you'd think.)

5. Honey (A gooey mess that then sticks to everything else. Enough said.)

4. Gum (Fortunately, gum is usually a no-no for the kids, and on the rare occasion they snag it, it usually gets swallowed.)

3. Green food coloring (truly hideous in a large swatch, but it does fade over time. Nearly two years later it is starting to look like just a dirty patch.)

2. Permanent black marker (in nice swirling designs to decorate the hallway)

1. Supposedly washable finger paint (It's not so bad where the colors stayed separate. It made for a passable rainbow splatter effect. But the spots where all the colors are mixed together, it makes a truly gruesome vomit color. J's room looks lovely!)

Forget my city planning degree. I should have gone into carpet cleaning.


P.S. While I was writing this post, B mixed up a soggy mess of bread and water and then poured it onto the carpet. My kids kill me!!!! (I don't think it will break into the list though. Phew.)

Comments

Abby said…
Just what the hell are you teaching your kids anyway?
Heidi said…
Who knows??? I think I must be giving them subliminal messages of "Destroy the house, destroy the house, everything's more fun when you wreck the house."
Brooke said…
My approach to similar situations is to just turn the other cheek. Thus, the carpet becomes spotted but we save a lot of money by not using bottles of carpet cleaner. I've paid to have the carpets cleaned once but it only stays clean for a day, so what's the point? I want to replace the carpet with tile or at least a spotted colored design instead of straight beige so then the question will be,"Hmm, is that a stain or is it just the pattern of the carpet?"

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