The Kinder Debate

That's kinder as in "kindergarten," not as in "kindness." Though I guess it could be. Are you being kind to a child by keeping her from starting school for another year? That's the million dollar question floating around here. The decision's made, and there's no going back, but for some reason I sure seem to feel a lot of pressure on the subject. (And if my mother-in-law knew what we were doing with B, she'd only add to the pressure. Shhhh, don't tell!)

What on earth am I rambling about? Well, about our decision to keep B in preschool instead of sending her on to kindergarten next year. B has a late summer birthday, you see. Arizona state law has dictated a cutoff date for kindergarten; you have to be 5 before Sept. 1st to start school. (There is a loophole, but it requires paying a fee and having your kid take a test to prove he's up to the task. And even then, the absolute, no-way-around-it cutoff date is Dec. 31st.) Anyway, B makes the cutoff, but since school here starts before we've even hit the 110 degree stride, she would still be four years old while starting kindergarten. Since she is neither reading Plato yet, nor so socially advanced she organizes play dates for herself, it seemed silly to me to force her into school just yet. Especially since just getting her to enter her preschool classroom takes some major persuasion (or threats of no Barbie movies for a week.)

This is the third time we've had to make this decision. Chalk it up to impeccable timing. We did want to have our kids 2 years apart, after all; we just succeeded so well that we ended up with summer birthdays for three kids in a row. Every time we've made the same decision: hold the kid for another year. And every time I've had people questioning my sanity. (Especially my mother-in-law.) This year it was the school registration office who doubted my mental competence. They even called to offer me a spot for B in particular, and when I explained that I was not going to have her start this year, the registration lady was openly stunned. You'd think I'd announced that B was going to skip formal education altogether and run off with the circus.

With J & M both, I have spent hours upon hours helping in their classes. (I go to volunteer once a week at their school.) I have seen a good number of kindergartners now, and quite frankly, I have seen many young summer b-day children who have struggled A LOT. Now, that is not always the case. I know for a fact that J's friend Justin is doing just fine, and he fits into that summer category. But most of them have lagged behind their peers, both physically, academically, and socially. Especially socially. Now in M's 2nd grade class, those differences have, for the most part, disappeared. So those barely five-year-olds are not going to be permanently stunted for starting school as soon as possible. But Terence and I have made the joint decision not to put our children through a couple of very difficult years, just so I can get them out of the house earlier. Besides, the idea of B entering high school at 13 years old makes me outright nauseous. Anything to avoid that!

The good thing is, K's birthday is nowhere near the summer. So at least with one of our kids, there doesn't need to be any debate at all!