Jealousy, Friends and Facebook, Oh My!
My husband is one of those guys that generally gets along with everyone. For those of you who know him personally, I'm sure you'll agree. Wherever he works, or at church, with our neighbors, in general everybody likes him. At least, if they don't like him they find it difficult to fight with him because he's so good at smoothing things over. Even with the vast majority of people he pulls over, he chats and makes small talk and tries to make it a less painful experience for those drivers. (Not to say that there isn't an angry, gruff cop inside. It's there, but trust me, if you call that side out of him, you deserve it.)
One of the interesting side effects of this kind of personality is that he is still friendly with every girl he's ever dated, at least the ones he is still in contact with. As for the ones he is not in contact with, it's not because he has anything against them, it's just that he's lost touch with them over time. It's a strange way of life to me because I've never had a "friendly" break-up, not really. (Well, there are two guys I've kissed on my Facebook friends list besides Terence, but I'm not going to share who they are. You can look and speculate if you want!)
Anyway, Terence's friends list is peppered with girls he dated once upon a time. Just the kind of behavior that should make me jealous, right? After all, doesn't Facebook wreck all these marriages nowadays? Or maybe you are thinking that I'm just not the kind to get jealous. Truthfully, I am the jealous type of gal (comes from being so insecure about myself). At least I used to be the jealous type. Probably I still would be if I saw Terence flirting with other women. But I know him so well now that what might have seemed like flirting back in the early days of our marriage I recognize as just his normal friendliness now. Terence is the opposite of me though. He never gets jealous. Not of guys in the past, nor of anybody in the present. (That's why I can be friends with guys from my "kiss list" on FB-- he knows who they are, and he doesn't care in the slightest.)
The strange thing is, now I have several friends on FB that I only met because Terence dated them and kept in contact. Isn't that odd? The fun thing about this is that some of these girls are so different from me that we never would have become friends in a million years any other way. One of these girls in particular provides much of my entertainment on FB. She posts frequently, and let's just say, she lives in a very dramatic world. She makes it dramatic, anyway. (But remind me never to get on her bad side!)
Well, that brings me to the introduction of my newest poll. It is jealousy related, and a little more serious than some of my other polls, but I am curious about how strongly you might feel about infidelity by your spouse. Check it out and let me know what you think.
Comments
as for the question of leaving your husband if he were to cheat... i think it's easier to say that you would if he did than to really do it. i can't say how i would feel exactly or what i would do for sure but i do know how much i love and trust him and that wouldn't change how much i loved him. now- the trust issue- that could cause me to leave. i can't think of being with someone i couldn't trust with my entire heart and soul. very difficult to say what would happen indeed. what would you do heidi?
For me, I could never live with or be married to a man that I couldn't trust completely. I couldn't trust him every again. Things would never be the same between us, I wouldn't feel the same towards him. Cheating has to be one of the most horrible things you could do in a marriage, expecially knowing what we know.
About your poll. For me I'm not sure what I would do. Spencer has always said that her knows I would literally kick his butt if anything of the sort would happen, and I could toltally see myself soing that.