Honing My Spy Driving Skills

Does anyone remember the old video game "Spy Hunter?"

Yesterday I had to drive into Phoenix to get a copy of K's birth certificate. It's not my favorite thing. For a girl who grew up in Southern California, you'd think driving in freeway traffic is second nature. Well, driving in somewhat-sane freeway conditions is more my comfort level. Driving in Phoenix reminds me of playing Spy Hunter. There are only three lanes, and people are zipping in and out and dodging cars while others are driving 50 mph in the fast lane. Because the freeways are so narrow, I also feel constantly like the cars on the side of me are trying to shove me off the road. Maybe like in the game, they are just getting ready to pop out those spikes on their wheels to slice my tires and send me careening off the road. Also, people out here just don't seem to get the concept of merging. So when your lane is going to end, heaven forbid you should try to merge into the next one! It is likely to get you shot!!! Or at least tailgated by a raving maniac who blares his horn at you as if you have offered some grave insult to his mother.

As if this wasn't enough excitement for the drive, the State of Arizona has recently decided to try and make up the several billion dollar budget shortfall by using photo radar on the freeways. So every couple of miles you run into a speed camera zone, which means that all those previously slaloming, racing cars slam on their brakes.

It's too bad I didn't have some Spy Hunter semi truck to pull into and get the oil slick ability. I could have at least kept the people behind me off my tail.

Of course, after surviving the drive into Phoenix, I returned to Mesa, where it's a different kind of hazard. Just imagine thousands of 85+ year olds on the road (it's "snowbird" season) and you get the idea. My own grandparents, though I love them to death, are part of this group, and it is really frightening. Fortunately, they often get my mother to drive them places. It may be hard on my mom, but it probably saves the sanity of countless other drivers.

Doesn't that just make you want to visit Phoenix in the winter? (They probably aren't going to hire me at the Dept. of Tourism now. Oh well.)

Comments

Anonymous said…
Gee, I love reading your blog. You really should publish something....or have you. If so I'd like to know how to get hold of it.
You always make my day. I haven't been in Phx for a few years but haven't missed it. I've never been fond of it. Cindy's in-laws have lived there all their life. (my dtr) Their name is Smith. Her mother-in-law passed away Sept 1st last year (my birthday) so they were there for a week. They usually go a couple times a year.
Ashlie Dalton said…
Haha! You are a hoot. I agree you have talent when it comes to writing, I agree you should publish something.
I've actually always felt like I was playing Frogger while driving. But it's probably because I've never played that spy game you're talking about.
VKMyers said…
I totally understand what you are saying. My heart rate goes through the roof when I drive through the Tunnel on the 10. And my grandpa...I wish he fell into the drives too slow category. The last time I rode with him, he drove 65mph down Ironwood. Scary!
Kaycee said…
You do have a talent in writing. I felt like I was in the car with you, and it was scary!

Popular Posts