Natural Observations
Aw, the joys of having nothing to do. I'm trying to remind myself of the positive stuff, rather than the challenge of sitting and watching my whole house in shambles and not being able to do anything about it. (For example, we have no clean silverware left for dinner and I only have plastic spoons. Hopefully the dinner Connie brings tonight will be something we can eat with spoons!) Terence is trying to keep up with it, but honestly, the man is just overwhelmed by it all. Today he did the grocery shopping for us, but he spent 95% of the time on the phone with me to make sure he was getting the right stuff. When he got home, he was practically hyperventilating over all the stuff he had to do, between laundry, dishes, etc., plus his regular work worries. Poor man. He did tell me that he realized today that he really wasn't helping me enough before.
Anyway, with all this extra time on my hands, and a reasonably positioned computer, I have been spending a lot of time entertaining myself on the internet. As you may have figured out, I am a regular participant in an online What to Expect forum for pregnant ladies due in January. Lately there have been a couple of women just raving about their hypnobirthing childbirth prep classes, so I figured I'd do a little net research.
Apparently, everyone on the internet (after pages of google results) raves about this technique. It seems to be mostly popular in the UK but is spreading here too. While I'm definitely of the opinion that traditional medicine sometimes just doesn't cut it, I found the whole raving about hypnobirthing rather annoying. Perhaps I'm just a skeptic, but having birthed 3 children now, I'm amused by the whole concept that labor doesn't have to hurt, the pain is only caused by fear. Even if the self-hypnosis stuff could help me make it through the contractions, and it probably could, there is no way you can tell me that pushing a baby out only hurts because I'm afraid. (Only in hypnobirthing, you're not actually supposed to push...if I had never done any pushing, my kids would never have made it out!)
I guess what bothers me the most is the assumption that if you feel pain or need medication during a birth you somehow failed. I read a fair amount of posts from women who (in my opinion) feel needlessly guilty over their "failure" to have a natural birth.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to do something naturally. You are also not evil or a bad mother if you do not do something "naturally!" It's similar to all the judgment I got after giving up the breastfeeding nightmare with M and switching to formula. Look, things like formula or epidurals are perhaps not the greatest for our bodies or our kids, but I still believe God blessed us with these tools because life is not always perfect and our situations are not always perfect.
OK, end rant. You can go back to your normal lives now!
Anyway, with all this extra time on my hands, and a reasonably positioned computer, I have been spending a lot of time entertaining myself on the internet. As you may have figured out, I am a regular participant in an online What to Expect forum for pregnant ladies due in January. Lately there have been a couple of women just raving about their hypnobirthing childbirth prep classes, so I figured I'd do a little net research.
Apparently, everyone on the internet (after pages of google results) raves about this technique. It seems to be mostly popular in the UK but is spreading here too. While I'm definitely of the opinion that traditional medicine sometimes just doesn't cut it, I found the whole raving about hypnobirthing rather annoying. Perhaps I'm just a skeptic, but having birthed 3 children now, I'm amused by the whole concept that labor doesn't have to hurt, the pain is only caused by fear. Even if the self-hypnosis stuff could help me make it through the contractions, and it probably could, there is no way you can tell me that pushing a baby out only hurts because I'm afraid. (Only in hypnobirthing, you're not actually supposed to push...if I had never done any pushing, my kids would never have made it out!)
I guess what bothers me the most is the assumption that if you feel pain or need medication during a birth you somehow failed. I read a fair amount of posts from women who (in my opinion) feel needlessly guilty over their "failure" to have a natural birth.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to do something naturally. You are also not evil or a bad mother if you do not do something "naturally!" It's similar to all the judgment I got after giving up the breastfeeding nightmare with M and switching to formula. Look, things like formula or epidurals are perhaps not the greatest for our bodies or our kids, but I still believe God blessed us with these tools because life is not always perfect and our situations are not always perfect.
OK, end rant. You can go back to your normal lives now!
Comments
I am sorry that you are having such a hard time. Bed rest isn't fun. I am glad your husband is helping you. It is hard to bed down and not be able to do the things you want especially if you have no help. I am praying you will get to go see the Twilight movie.
Your a trooper.
May I add: let's see these women have surgery, or their teeth worked on with no medication to put you out or numbing. Let them say it only hurts because of fear. They also say it's natural to have a baby with no meds. well in the olden days they pulled your teeth out with no meds. lets see how many women are willing to do that! oh and about breast feeding, I heard it all! I tried my darndest to breast feed. It wasn't happening. but every one in the world was on my case about that. Every time my one of my children got sick, it was my fault, because I wasn't breast feeding. Any way Im off my soap box now.
sounds like a great husband! I am sorry you are on bed rest. I can't imagine how hard that would be.
I would suggest that the reason you have found so many positive stories about HypnoBirthing is because it is extremely successful in helping couples to acheive a positive birthing experience. I can honestly say that I did not find the birth of our baby at all uncomfortable in any way. Also, thre is no physiological need to push whatsoever in birthing, the ONLY reason that historically women have been encouraged to push was to speed the process up. There is a great study available on the web which looked at pushing V not pushing and the results were awesome....the pushing group only delieverd their babies on average 13 mins faster, but had FAR higher incidences of ripping, tearing and the need for medical intervention.
Also, I feel the need to point out to you that in no way are women told or pushed towards feeling that if they have special circumstances and ask for or require medical intervention have they failed in any way. HypnoBirthing is about achieving the best possible birthing experience given the individual circumstances and being able to feel positive about it.
I hope that gives a bit more info on what is, in my opinion, a truly incredible programme.
All I have to say about hypnobirthing is BLAH BLAH BLAH. After I had Alex and had a terribel experience, I decided to try HB. Tony and I went to months of classes with one of the most reputable teachers out there, paid a small fortune too, mind you... Well, when it came time to birth Emma, I labored HARD for 16 hours and only dialated to 6. We tried every technique that was taught to us, had my relaxation CD with me, all of that junk. And guess what helped? Seeing that things were just not working like we were told that they were supposed to, Tony jumped on the bed behind me (I was on my knees hanging onto a birthing bar) and he gave me a blessing...immediately after that I knew that both my baby and I needed an epidural to help my body relax. After I had the epidural, our baby girl was born about 10 minutes later. No joke. No, I didn't push Emma out, we sat up in a HB technique and I breathed her down...and she literally slipped out, no crying at all. And yes, I tore, even after doing some HB techniques/massaging so that I wouldn't. So I say to everyone...DO NOT spend your hard earned money on HypnoBirthing classes. Research a lot yourself, talk to friends and family, get to the hospital or stay home with your midwife, but you ultimately have to do what is best for you and your baby. And of course, have the Priesthood handy ;)